The truth about the Game Industry

Folks, it seems its time for me to reveal what is the truth about the video game industry and the hidden messages that Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Apple, Blizzard and Valve are known for. Now, you are all aware of these 6 companies

Nintendo
Sony
Microsoft
Apple
Blizzard
Valve

Nintendo is well known to being one of the oldest companies in this vast planet. They are also known now for the development of the Nintendo Wii, DS and the upcoming 3DS.

Sony is known for the Playstation line-up. Especially the Playstation 3 and the PSP. Not to mention the PSP Go

Microsoft is well known for the X-Box 360 and an OS that crashes every 3 seconds.

Apple is known for iPods, iMacs, iPads, iToys, and iSpy

Blizzard is known for its Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo Franchises

And Valve...they're just known for Steam.

Alone, they are merely innocent companies who sell their products to customers all while making money just to buy themselves a Yacht. But combined, there is a deep dark secret, or set of secrets. Lemme point it out. If you take the I T from Nintendo, the S and the O from Sony, the C and S from Microsoft, the A from Apple and the L and I from Blizzard(Dunno where Valve fits in, but what the hey), you get

Socialist

It's Glenn Becks' worst fear come true. He'll freak out when he learns the Video GAme industry is a bigger Socialist party than Obama will ever be. But it doesn't stop there. Take the I from Nintendo, the P from Apple and the E from Valve and you get....

Pie

Now who on earth would want Pie? Real men eat Cake. And Cake is not a lie. But there's more. I found this as well. Take the I from Nintendo, the S from Sony, the R and T from Microsoft, the P from Apple, the A from Blizzard and the E from Valve. What do you get?

Pirates

Exactly. The entire operation is being runned by Pirates. I can hear this from Miyamoto to Hirai

- Shiver me Timbers Kaz Hirai, I got me a new game I plan on presenting to dem landlubbers. Eet involves using Wii Balance Board to make der fat walk da plank

- Arrgh. I also be developing me own workout. Eet involves me camera and me wand.

- Hohohohoho. Yee be good Hirai. Let's go get us a drink and celebrate

But it gets worse. Just recently, I have discovered the strings behind the Video Game industry. It's not Jack Thompson, it's not Orly Taitz, and it ain't Beavis and Butthead. How do I know? Take the N, I and N from Nintendo, the I from Microsoft and the A and P from Apple, and what do you get?

PANINI

And I'm not talking about those Panini sandwiches



That's right. I'm talking about this monster. Known for obsessing over a certain someone with an overeating problem. She knew the show she was on was coming to an end. So she snuck Motion Controls into the 360 and PS3, Cataclysm into World of Warcraft, and who knows, she may be sneaking cartoons into Steam.

But I'm taking this up a notch. Take the T from Nintendo, the S from Sony, the M and R from Microsoft, the A from Apple, the L, I and A from Blizzard, and the V, A V from Valve, what do you get?

VIVA LA SMART

It's a conspiracy. They're out to make us smarter. Well guess what video game industry. We protest this. We are proud to be stupid and we will not start for Smart elitism. In fact, we protest it so much that we...

PROTEST

Wait a minute. I almost forgot. The T and E from Nintendo. S from Sony. The R, O and T from Microsoft, and the P from Apple. It spells out...PROTEST! NOOOOO! THEY TRICKED US! BY PROTESTING, WE ARE AIDING OUR ENEMIES INTO CONQUERING US! THEY KNEW THEY WERE GONNA PROTEST AND WE FELL FOR IT! WHYYYYYYYYY! This unfortunately leads to this. I will stand up to my Patriotism and American spirit and...

AMERICA

AHHHHHH! You mean my country was in on this? All by taking the I and E from Nintendo, the M, C and R from Microsoft, the A from Apple and the A from Valve. America. Why? Why did you do this? That's it. I'm moving to Canada. That way, I can be free from these monsters and....

CANADA

Why? Why did it come to this? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? The D from Nintendo, the N from Sony, the C from Microsoft, the A from Apple, the A from Blizzard and the A from Valve. It's not like they took the earth and....Wait. You mean you can't spell out Earth with those letters? AHA! Caught ya red handed.

So in conclusion, I have one thing to say, with the T from Nintendo, the S from Sony, the I from Microsoft and the P from Apple

SPIT

Because I spit on this article and this stupid April Fools Joke.

(Chowder(Copyright Cartoon Network and Time Warner) was created by C.H. Greenblatt, who is now working with the Walt Disney Company.)