Extra Life/Game Over: Coming down on coming down on the Wii

Folks, I sense some disappointment in the air and it's the Wii. Ether that or it was that 3 bean salad I had for lunch yesterday. This is a special edition of Extra Life/Game Over. And it's not a very happy one.

First off, a Game Over to IGN. Weeks ago, IGN posted an article on "Why Nintendo is Lazy," and then they posted an article comparing New Super Mario Bros Wii to Splosion Man. Now it seems they have flip flopped and begun praising the Wii for "Embracing a Legacy." The topic: A new NBA Jam for Wii by Electronic Arts.

With NBA Jam, Electronic Arts is attempting something that seems to be a slowly building trend on the Nintendo Wii: once hardcore, classic franchises are being brought back as fresh, new productions that advance the property without straying far beyond the classic mechanics. It has a multi-tier effect -- developers stick to the strengths of the console's hardware, mainstream gamers gain current-generation pick-up-and-play software, and hardcore gamers have something both familiar and exclusive on the Wii console.

But that destroys the concept of why we hate the Wii. We were suppose to bash it because it was made for non-gamers. Not praise it for updating an old classic like how New Super Mario Bros Wii, Punch-Out and A Boy and his Blob do so.

It's a strategy that could work to the system's favor. While the more powerful systems fight it out with aggressive Mature-focused, high-budget productions that push visuals in the HD era, the less-capable Wii can appeal to the clearly segmented "casual" and "hardcore" markets with familiar, straightforward experiences that bring them up to 2010 standards that gamers can accept. Tried-and-true, challenging game designs with mechanics can be reborn with new presentations that don't overwhelm the "new audience" that Nintendo is attracting. While doing this, it's approaching mechanics that were once considered hardcore, returning to the demographic that currently feels abandoned by the company that introduced them to videogames.

And it's a trend that could cause an uproar with the HD Crowd simply because they would want the same except with HD graphics, more buttons to use and epic cutscenes all while they ignore it for the next FPS like MAG.

Next, a Game Over to Apple for the iPad. Early this week, Apple was to announce its newest tablet and I was expecting it to crush the DS. But when Steve Jobs confirms its new tablet as the iPad and claimed it had the same structure as the iPod Touch and the iPhone, I cried. I cried because I wanted it to crush the DS. But it gets worse

The iPad, which is larger in size but similar in design to Apple's popular iPhone, was billed by CEO Steve Jobs on Wednesday as "so much more intimate than a laptop and so much more capable than a smart phone."

*skipping info on Steve Jobs*

The iPad has a 9.7-inch touch screen, is a half-inch thick, weighs 1.5 pounds and comes with 16, 32 or 64 gigabytes of flash memory storage. It comes with Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connectivity built in. Jobs said the device has a battery that lasts 10 hours and can sit for a month on standby without needing a charge.

The basic iPad models will cost $499, $599 and $699, depending on the storage size, when it comes out worldwide in March.

So not only will the DS continue unhinged, but so will the Wii. And Maddox will explain why the iPad is a even bigger piece of shit than the iPhone, along with my hair. CURSE YOU APPLE FOR NOT HAVING THE POWER TO CRUSH NINTENDO! Actually, let's add fuel to the fire.

This latest iPad beef isn't about the device's frequently mocked name or any surrounding trademark concerns; rather, it's about the iPad's apparent lack of Flash support. Product demos and statements from Adobe suggest the device is not Flash-friendly -- but Apple's promotional materials paint a very different picture.

And the sad thing is, the Wii is Flash Friendly.

And finally, a 3rd Game Over. This one to Microsoft. Early ago, Microsoft announced a Game Room for their X-Box 360 and Windows PCs. I claimed that this will kill the Wii's Virtual Console, except Microsoft decided to announce this.

Whereas similar platforms - like Nintendo's Virtual Console for the Wii - submit each game to the ratings board individually, Microsoft has had the Game Room itself classified, the virtual arcade given a E10+ rating.

This means Microsoft can release as many games on the service as often as it likes without having to submit them to the ESRB, which should not only speed up the delivery of titles onto the Game Room, but prevent ESRB listings from spoiling the fun in advance, something that happens all too often with Virtual Console titles on the Wii.

There is, of course, a catch, and it has the potential to be a big one for fans of certain titles: the "universal" rating means that no games rated over E10+ will be released onto the Game Room. While this won't affect the majority of the retro titles due to appear on the platform, it will affect a few of the biggest potential releases, like Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat and Metal Slug.

That means games like Street Fighter 2, Mortal Kombat, Narc, Primal Rage, Virtua Fighter, Rampage: World Tour, Total Carnage, and regular Tapper will not touch the Game Room. Something the Wii can get away with. Microsoft, you're making a big mistake on this. You want to crush the Wii's Virtual Console, not have it laugh at you.

And that does it with my disappointing edition of Extra Life/Game Over. Very disappointing indeed. All my hopes and dreams of crushing the Wii have been crushed. Will you excuse me while I down my hopes with Root Beer.

Works Cited: IGN Article: Embracing a Legacy
Yahoo Article on the iPad
PC World: Apple's Ipad and the Flash Clash
Kotaku: No Mature Games allowed in X-Box Game Room