Saturday, May 25, 2013

XBox touchdown

Folks, I am excited for the upcoming E3.  Are you excited?  Because this E3...


MICROSOFT WILL DOMINATE!


I am not kidding.  Just on this past Tuesday, Microsoft finally announced the newest member of the X-Box Legacy.  THE X-BOX ONE

Folks, what you are witnessing is a one console future that will enslave tvs for all eternity, kick Sony and Nintendo out of the market and will pull you away from those weak Personal Computers, Smartphones and Tablets.  Lemme jump in and tell you why the X-Box One will not only dominate your living room, it will also dominate your household and become the new landlord.

First off, remember the whole idea of Backwards Compatibility?  Well Microsoft decided to follow in Sony's footsteps and ditch it on the road



Xbox Live Vice President Marc Whitten elaborated on the situation, saying, "The system is based on a different core architecture, so back-compat doesn't really work from that perspective." This is a similar situation to what the PS4 is running into, where it is unable to play PS3 games due to the switch to an x86 CPU rather than relying on the last generation's PowerPC architecture. Whitten also confirmed that, as of now, Microsoft has no plans to make this content available via streaming or download.  Additionally, Joystiq reports that only peripherals designed for the Xbox One will work with the new console, meaning any old controllers you have won't work, and nor will the original Kinect.



 Why do you even need all those games?  When the X-Box One finally comes out, they'll be 100% obsolete.  So do yourself a favor and dump all of those games in the trash.  It's realistic graphics all the way baby.

Oh BTW.  Don't even think about playing the system offline.  That's for wusses.  Real men play their system ONLINE!  As a matter of fact, IT DOES REQUIRE AN INTERNET CONNECTION!  Kotaku talked with Phil Harrison about it.




Kotaku: If I’m playing a single player game, do I have to be online at least once per hour or something like that? Or can I go weeks and weeks?
Harrison: I believe it’s 24 hours.
Kotaku: I’d have to connect online once every day.
Harrison: Correct.



That's right.  You have to connect once a day just to make sure you can play your precious games.  Oh speaking of which, you're all going "But what about the evil used games market that is eating up Microsoft's profits?"  Folks, Microsoft has a solution to deal with the social-facist used games market and it's all in One place.





Here's how the system works: when you buy an Xbox One game, you'll get a unique code that you enter when you install that game. You'll have to connect to the Internet in order to authorize that code, and the code can only be used once. Once you use it, that game will then be linked to your Xbox Live account. "It sits on your harddrive and you have permission to play that game as long as you’d like," Harrison said.

Other users on the console will be able to play that game as well, Harrison said. So you don't need to buy multiple games per family. "With the built-in parental controls of the system it is shared amog the users of the device," he said.

But what if you want to bring a game disc to a friend's house and play there? You'll have to pay a fee—and not just some sort of activation fee, but the actual price of that game—in order to use a game's code on a friend's account. Think of it like a new game, Harrison said.



As a new game.  Folks, this makes much more sense than playing on Valve's Steam service.  I mean, who actually does need physical titles anyway?  That doesn't stand up to my future.  The future of ONE.

But I felt like Microsoft dropped the ball on this one, when they said this to Major Nelson



The ability to trade in and resell games is important to gamers and to Xbox. Xbox One is designed to support the trade in and resale of games. Reports about our policies for trade in and resale are inaccurate and incomplete. We will disclose more information in the near future.



Microsoft, what are you doing?  Oh wait.  I bet you mean you can resell your games off X-Box Live.  Yeah.  Who needs to give away the disc when you can sell the license across the network?  Brilliant.

But, I do feel as if Microsoft is taking too many cues from Nintendo.  From what I've heard, the X-Box One's storage will not be replaceable like in the past




We had the opportunity to chat with Albert Penello, senior director of product planning at Microsoft this afternoon, who was kind enough to clarify a few topics for us regarding the recently-unveiled Xbox One. One thing we were quick to ask about was the integrated storage. 500GB sounds like a lot today -- but so did the 20GB unit in the original Xbox 360. The HDD there was, at least, replaceable. Can you do the same with its successor? Sadly, no. Hard drives in the Xbox One are non-user-serviceable, but Penello confirmed that the USB 3.0 port is there for external storage, which can be used for everything the internal storage can be used for. That includes game installs and downloads. So, don't fret: adding storage will be just as easy as ever.




What are you doing, Microsoft?  This was your chance to dominate the HDD market by making all HDDs require the X-Box One.  That way, the X-Box One could have easily controlled your PC as it will your living room.  You already have

As a matter of fact, Indie Developers, BACK OF THE LINE!  You need a publisher to have your games on X-Box One, unlike the Wii U, Steam and PS4.




The solo and small-team game-makers who’ve made games like Fez, Braid and Limbo won’t be able to control their own destinies on Microsoft’s next game console, according to a Shack News report.


The article quotes Matt Booty, who is Microsoft’s general manager of Redmond Game Studios and Platforms, as confirming that indie devs will still need publishers to get their games onto the newly revealed console. Booty does say that Microsoft will explore new business models, though.


This news comes in stark contrast to Sony’s promises that indies will be able to self-publish content on the PS4. The publisher model, of course, means that some other entity has to decide whether to take a risk on helping get a game on a console and that someone else gets a cut of profits.



That means you ether take the cut or take a hike.

Overall, the X-Box One is shaping up to be a good console.  But it seems defiance is spread throughout the internet.  From Jim Sterling to Bob Chipman, it seems gamers are horrified at what the X-Box One represents.  But there was unfortunately a disturbance in the X-Box One announcement.  Actually, make it two.




Well, this isn't surprising: following a somewhat underwhelming presentation from Microsoft after unveiling the Xbox One (where are the games?), Sony's stock jumped up.


Wall Street obviously doesn't know that the real money will be tied to Microsoft and not Sony and Nintendo.  Speaking of which, here's the second disturbance



On Amazon UK sales of the Wii U system jumped 800+%, from the 390th hottest item all the way up to the 40th. As of the writing of this article, it is ranked 3rd in the "PC & Video Games" catogery, right after Fifa 14 (PS3) and Fifa 14 (360).



Folks, what are you doing?  You're buying the wrong system.  You're allowing Nintendo's socialist conspiracy to win it out.  Don't you realize that you're gonna change gaming forever by keeping it in the same state of flux that it has been in for the last 20 years?

Overall, the X-Box One looks to be a powerful beast that has ether a future controlling your living room, or controlling the discount rack.  Ether way, I'm excited for E3 and people making fools out of themselves.  We need another Mr Caffiene.  There's no one like Mr Caffiene.

Works Cited:
IGN Article 1
Kotaku Article 1
Kotaku Article 2
Major Nelson Article
Engadget article
Kotaku Article 3
Kotaku Article 4 
Cubed3 Article

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