Folks, I'm tipping my hat to you guys. Not because you speak out like you mean it, but you speak out like a true patriot. Never have I felt so much gaming patriotism since the outrage of Final Fantasy XIII appearing on the 360 in addition to the PS3. And I still stand by it because...THE PS3 IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE BEST SYSTEM EVER AND ITS BEING OUTSOLD BY A 360, A WII, A DS AND AN IPHONE! A IPHONE?
Also, PS3 is the only system that can make good games, no matter if anyone says it's bullshit and that there were good games before the PS3. There was no such thing as the PS2. It was a myth created by Nintendo so they could get their hands on the market.
Over at Destructoid, they compiled a list of controversies that happened this year. Stuff that made Glenn Beck throw up in his mouth. In this order
1) Left 4 Dead 2: Folks, Left 4 Dead 2 shouldn't have existed because simply put, it was mearly the same game with a fresh coat of paint, just like how sequels and new IPs are merely fresh coats of paint over a previous game. But you guys decided to boycott it. Valve promised us DLC for the first game till the end of time. Of course they made their promises. But the problem is, a sequel means no need for the original game.
But Valve saw through us and pulled 2 traitorous leaders through to play the game and they enjoyed it. HOW DARE THEY ENJOY SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE BUT NEVER PLAYED! THIS IS A TOTAL INSULT! I'M YELLING LIKE A STUPID JACKASS HERE!
Unfortunately, the many boycotters caved in and bought the game after the movement was declared dead, revealing it as merely an ego burn. OH NO! NOT AN EGO BURN!
Let's move on to Destructoid's number 2
2) Killzone 2 Reviews: Reviewers, listen up and listen well. Playstation 3 games are to be treated like royalty, just like your cat Mittens, even if the game sucks in the end. When Killzone 2 for the PS3 was given an 8/10 by Total Videogames, fanboys threw a tea party and called the reviewer a fanboy and even threw in pathetic insults. Even Adam Sessler was not immune when he gave the game a 5/5. That provoked him into poking fun at the patriots.
Folks, you proved to be the Tea Party Patriots of Video Games, especially when you decided the game was not worth playing anymore. Just be glad they didn't look at Yahtzee's review of Killzone 2. But for now, numbah 3
3) Dante's Inferno's fake protest: If you're gonna protest over a game, make sure said company isn't paying you to do so. Also Sony, take note. Reviewers are suckers for $200 fat checks. Electronic Arts proved that by organizing a fake protest against its own game and paying off reviewers to give a game positive reviews. And ironically, it worked out.
Nuff said. Next one
4) Six Days in Fallujah and the outcry: I gotta hand it to Fox News and the mainstream media. They know how to stir up controversy over a game announced by Konami and developed by Atomic Games. When this game called Six Days in Fallujah was announced by these 2, they yelled out and caused Konami to cave it and Atomic to close its doors.
A sad time indeed. Just be glad Glenn Beck didn't talk about it. Number 5?
5) Destructoid's review of Assassin's Creed 2: When Jim Sterling of Destructoid gave Assassin's Creed 2 a 4.5/10(Which would make Sonic Next-Gen look decent), fanboys lost it all while other sites gave it 10s and 9s. One review didn't give it a good score? THE WHOLE WORLD'S GOING DOWN! RUN FOR THE HILLS! ABANDON SHIP! MAYDAY MAYDAY! And the game was selling more than Brutal Legends.
Jim Sterling, I'll accept your apologie, if you give the next PS3 game a 10/10 all while we clog our arteries on cholestrol-filled burritoes from Taco Bell.
6) GTA Full Monty: Censors must have been asleep on this one when GTA IV's The Lost and the Damned got gamers more than they bargained for with full frontal male nudity
*Image censored to protect your eyes*
Nasty isn't it? Rockstar sure knows how to draw a negative crowd.
7) PC Modern Warfare 2 has no dedicated servers: Activision shocked the world and the PC era may be crashing because when they announced that Modern Warfare 2 would be without dedicated servers, we all threw a fit over it. Not only that, but it was bug-ridden, glitched-filled mess that also had problems with ISPs.
There was going to be a boycott, but PC gamers turned out to be chicken and bought the game off of Steam. Furthermore, there are rumors that ID Software may follow in Activision's path using P2P servers. Is it any wonder why PC gaming is becoming more and more like Wii gaming? Made more for the casuals while we bark like a bunch of rabid dogs?
8) Bayonetta: Folks, SEGA and Platinum games betrayed the PS3 owners by making the 360 version of this game better. Why? Platinum games forced SEGA to develop the PS3 version on its own, then distance itself from the game. Sony intervened by helping SEGA with the development.
SEGA, what were you thinking by hiring former Clover of Capcom's Platinum? I don't care if they're a small development studio churning out original IPs. If they can't develop for the PS3, they don't deserve to exist and I'm excercising my right to be a retarded PS3 FANBOY! RAH RAH RAH RAH!
9) Modern Warfare 2's other controversial scene: Apparently, you can cause controversy on both sides of the gaming market. Activision snuck in a mission that was so vile, so repulsive, that it caused a shitstorm of epic proportions. That's right, a terrorist scene involving your character partaking in it in Modern Warfare 2. Did Activision do this just to get attention? Or did it take a jump into risky waters to see what works and what doesn't work? Ether way, it managed to swim out of the waters and survive unscathed.
Though personally, it would have died had I snuck in Fox News Piranhas into the risky waters.
Works Cited: Destructoid Article: 2009: A year in videogame controversy(Warning: NSFW)
If you wanna read up on fanboys, Destructoid has an article right here
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Legend of IGN: Tears of crybabies
You all read my post about Matt's rant against Nintendo. Boy they were tasty tears. Seems some more tasty tears have sprung up at Fox...err I mean IGN's recent Nintendo Podcast. Must be raining gatorade today. And apparently, they've gone nucking futs. Here are all the details courtesy of our works cited at Wordpress, with my commentary on why I agree on this
-Wii sucks because PS3/360 have achievements. Of course it does. Of course, certain Wii games have built-in achievements, but that doesn't count.
-Achievements are an innovation as big as motion controls. Achievements are a better innovation than motion controls. Indeed it does. It allows us to waste our time on something that's nearly impossible to get
-When you play Wii games, you do not feel any accomplishment. It's simply because you're not yelling at each other in an online match. I WANT THE RIGHT TO YELL LIKE A JACKASS!
-Mad World is awesome, it would have sold if it had achievements and social networking. Why not? It worked with Mirror's Edge
-Wants the Miis to copy Avatars in having clothes. And while we're at it, why not charge them money just to acquire said clothes
-Mentions Wii Sports Resort and other games by saying it has achievements in it. But says it doesn’t matter because the achievements do not go ‘beyond the game’. Becuase if it doesn't equal a measly score that's meant to show off, what's the use of Achievements?
-Mention people in the comments defending Nintendo. “Nintendo fanboys have brainwashed themselves.” IGN staff then mocks Nintendo fans by pretending to be brainwashed: “I don’t want achievements!” “I don’t want HD!” “I don’t want to just sit on the couch and just play!” “I don’t want to get up and wave my arms!” And I don't want to enjoy a game. I want to whine like a little pansy
-Quote: “Turning on my Wii is a very lonely experience” because Wii doesn’t have some Xbox Live system. Yeah. You need a credit card or debit card if you don't wanna be lonely
-”I don’t know anyone in the Bay area who doesn’t live with a room-mate.” (Not sure I want to interpret that…) It must be lonely in there
-Podcast then switches to talking about Cassamassina’s “Nintendo is lazy” column. For more reference, read my last post
-Talks about how Gamecube Nintendo used to push big huge games with cutting edge graphics. Exactly. Sad thing about this is that no one bought into em. I wonder why
-Says Nintendo stopped doing this because they couldn’t compete. (No mention of Blue Ocean Strategy.) And I blame this on the Playstation 2.
-”Wii has been phenomenally successful, but it is the first Nintendo console I do not want to play.” “A great example of this would be the new Super Mario Brothers for the Wii.” And yet I'm getting nightmares about how Nintendo is curb stomping the 360 and PS3 with their Wii. CURSE YOU NIGHTMARES!
-Mario 5 doesn’t set the world on fire in how it uses the Wii. It is just “Here’s the game!” Exactly. It's forcing us to enjoy the game without putting up a narrative.
-Call Mario 5 a DS port. “Nintendo just took everything that worked on the DS and just put it on the Wii.” I protest this. It should be an NES Port
-”That is how Nintendo has been so financially successful.” Ya know, that was a direct insult to Sony and Microsoft. Take that back IGN or I'll accuse you of being a pro-Nintendo Socialist.
-Says there was no money put into Mario 5. No money for Research and Development. Exactly. No money was put into that game, just like how Microsoft put no money into Halo 3: ODST, Activision put no money into Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, and Warner Bros put no money into Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
-Wii is a Gamecube with a new peripheral. Just like how the 360 is the old X-Box with gimped Backwards compatibility and better graphics, and the PS3 is a PS2 with Blu-Ray, better graphics, and PS2 compatibility ripped out of its circuits
-Nintendo has given up the battle of the epic games to Microsoft and Sony. “Absolutely,” replies another. Because epic games require being a first or third person shooter
-Nintendo doesn’t care to enter the battle of Microsoft and Sony. “And I think it is hurting them in the long run.” Exactly. It's because the Gamecube tried that and they got butthurt. Get back in there or I'll make ya
-Nintendo needs to go after the hardcore. One person says their mom has a Wii and hasn’t bought a game for it. All while millions of 360 and PS3 owners buy the newest Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Who needs all those extra games?
-One person used his Mom’s Wii, puts in the new Mario game, declares the Wii controllers are all dead, then updates the Wii’s firmware. Then says he updates the firmware yet again. Wait, could you repeat that again when my 360's firmware is updated?
-Craig Harris: Mario Galaxy is epic because of its story (as well as its texture mapping and cutscenes). However, Galaxy isn’t as good as games on the HD Twins because games on the HD Twins have more epic stories. Because you can never make an epic story on the Playstation 2, Gamecube or X-Box. Nope, never gonna happen.
-Craig Harris isn’t happy how people accept what Nintendo is doing by not putting epic stories into their games. “Link doesn’t talk!” If anything, Link should be voiced by Jason Anthony Grif*Gets booed at* Okay I'll shut up on that.
-Craig Harris after demanding that Nintendo games have voice acting: “I really want to play games like Uncharted 2 on the Wii.” And while we're at it, hire Michael Bay to do the special effects.
-”Assassin’s Creed 2 feels like a Mature Zelda game.” Exactly. Okami didn't count and it never count. Why? Because nether Zelda nor Okami teaches you how to assassinate
-Craig Harris: “I know video games are in the money making business. But companies like Microsoft and Sony are doing certain things and if Nintendo is going to sit back and relax…” then Sony and Microsoft will end up sitting back and relaxing.
-”They’re betting that the casual market will be there forever.” It's not going to last forever this expanding market. It's not like it's been here since the NES era.
-Nintendo is doomed because Wii is going to become like the N64. Sony is going to sneak up through them. Exactly. It will sneak through the 360 and Wii. Just as soon as Sony drops it further, then watch as the Wii bypasses them again as the NPD said
-”Wii totally reminds me of how it is used in casual households is like the crappy systems you see in Walgreens when you are checking out. Plug and play guitars!” “It’s like a little gimmick when you want to do something with it.” Yeah. Like Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Everyone wants it
-Keeps attacking the “casual audience”. Hands off my video game systems you leftist casuals.
-Likens the “casual players” to what caused the Atari crash in 1983 (not joking, they said it). Exactly. We should slam these guys for being casual all while we continue to buy the newest Madden and Call of Duty.
-Says Nintendo is where it is at the end of the latter SNES days where Nintendo is sitting comfortably and getting ready to make the N64. Says Nintendo will fall once Sony Wand and Microsoft Natal get released. Well I protest the Wand and Natal because it will fit Sony and Microsoft into Nintendo's shoes. DON'T DO THIS SONY AND MICROSOFT! DON'T GO AFTER THE CASUAL MARKET! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!
-Mentions an email where it asks Cassamassina, “Why don’t you go after Nintendo for being lazy with Mario Galaxy? It is, after all, tons of recycled content with purple coins and all.” They say this doesn’t count since “all games have that.” Yeah. Every game requires you to find purple coins to unlock the green gloop.
-Start bashing Phantom Hourglass. Welcome to 2 years ago
-Says Wii is best when emulating the PC. “like games as World of Goo.” That reminds me, when are they gonna do World of Warcraft: Wii Edition?
-Says if you are a new consumer looking for motion control, you will be wowed by Natal and Wand. Get off my systems you liberal gamers*barks like a dog*
-Say they like Wand because they actually hold it. Yeah, you actually hold it just like you hold a Wiimote
-Others say they are skeptical of both Natal and Wand since they are copying what Nintendo is doing. They're not just copying what Nintendo is doing, they're also trying to get the Casual audience. KEEP THOSE CASUALS AWAY! THE POWER OF MASTER CHIEF COMPELS YOU!
-Another email says NSMB Wii is being knocked more than it should. Is annoyed people are bashing the side scroller. They disagree with the email and says Nintendo didn’t do anything with Mario 5 except putting out a red box. That's all they did. They didn't put in Koopalings with all new character models with slight redesigns.
-In a Japanese magazine, Miyamoto says he wanted the gameplay to be the same for all four characters in Mario 5. No. I wanted a gun-toting Hedgehog in New Super Mario Bros Wii...or at least a cursing squirrel.
-Reads an email who says that Mario 5 was scored too high by IGN and should be below an 8. Yeah. While we're at it, I think Super Mario Galaxy was rated too high. Score it around a 4.9 and you'll get my approval.
-Says Gamecube was a hardcore system (I thought it was a kiddy system?) Exactly. And the PS2 was a kiddie casual system. CURSE YOU PLAYSTATION 2
-Starts bashing Animal Crossing Wii and Wii Music. ME HATE ANIMAL CROSSING AND WII MUSIC! ME HATE PEOPLE LIKING IT! ME WANNA THROW FIT LIKE HULK! HULK NOT DO MATH! HULK SMASH!
-”What is the point of complaining?” says an email. “Because we got tons of comments and tons of traffic,” answers Harris. This is perhaps why this podcast is so intentionally bad. Inspired by Glenn Beck
-Bashes the Quarter 1 release schedule from Nintendo. All while Wii Fit continued to dominate in the NPD Software
-Talk about their favorite Wii games. Mention Mario Kart Wii and Boom Blox. No. You do NOT praise ANY WII games. That is unlawful IGN! BASH THEM AND BASH THEM GOOD YOU SON OF A SUBMARINERS!
-Doesn’t know why Excitebots isn’t selling. I'll tell you why. THAT GAME HAS NO GUNS! NO GUNS, NO BLOOD, NO SALE! You put guns in that game, and I'll make a deal
-Harris admits he thinks Mario 5 is one of the top games for the system (odd for bashing it so much earlier in this podcast) This is hypocritcism. You do NOT bash Mario 5, then go to praise it. Back to your bashing, NOW!
-One email asks if Blaster Master sells well on VC, will it get a sequel? (Doesn’t appear they answer this.) I got an answer. Does that game have realistic graphics? No? Tough noogies.
-Says no one will try a VC game they haven’t played. Because they're all too busy waiting for what they wanna play and that's it.
-Email complains about how Daemon’s WiiWare reviews all complain about leaderboards not being online. He's complaining that there aren't online leaderboards because that's a way to brag, all while some jackass takes your spot away and you respond by sending them a retarded message
-Tells developers, who might be listening, that it is 2010 that they should only put arcade games with online leaderboards. Creativity? Pssh. Who needs that? Just slap online leaderboards onto a game you already made, throw it onto WiiWare/XBLA/PSN/Steam and call it a day
-Email asks if Project Hammer being resurrected with Motion Plus. No answer, just hyena sounds as they laugh at their own jokes you can’t make out. *Throws rotten meat into the pack*
At first, when I read it, I was inspired. But as I went on, I saw them as the one thing that is killing the gaming industry....casuals. They're eating away at our playtime like how Termites eat at our house. Which is why I have a proposal to IGN. If you want a totally unbiased journalist at your helm to trash the Wii(And maybe everything else), I have just the man for the job.
That's right: Host of his own show on Fox News: Glenn Beck.
He'll teach gamers why the Wii, along with the rest of the gaming industry, is a leftist video game console that promotes Socialism, all while telling gamers that gold is a more worthy investment than video games.
IGN, do us all a favor and invite Glenn Beck. He'll do a better job than these has-beans in that recent sorry excuse for a podcast.
Works Cited: Malstrom’s Articles News
-Wii sucks because PS3/360 have achievements. Of course it does. Of course, certain Wii games have built-in achievements, but that doesn't count.
-Achievements are an innovation as big as motion controls. Achievements are a better innovation than motion controls. Indeed it does. It allows us to waste our time on something that's nearly impossible to get
-When you play Wii games, you do not feel any accomplishment. It's simply because you're not yelling at each other in an online match. I WANT THE RIGHT TO YELL LIKE A JACKASS!
-Mad World is awesome, it would have sold if it had achievements and social networking. Why not? It worked with Mirror's Edge
-Wants the Miis to copy Avatars in having clothes. And while we're at it, why not charge them money just to acquire said clothes
-Mentions Wii Sports Resort and other games by saying it has achievements in it. But says it doesn’t matter because the achievements do not go ‘beyond the game’. Becuase if it doesn't equal a measly score that's meant to show off, what's the use of Achievements?
-Mention people in the comments defending Nintendo. “Nintendo fanboys have brainwashed themselves.” IGN staff then mocks Nintendo fans by pretending to be brainwashed: “I don’t want achievements!” “I don’t want HD!” “I don’t want to just sit on the couch and just play!” “I don’t want to get up and wave my arms!” And I don't want to enjoy a game. I want to whine like a little pansy
-Quote: “Turning on my Wii is a very lonely experience” because Wii doesn’t have some Xbox Live system. Yeah. You need a credit card or debit card if you don't wanna be lonely
-”I don’t know anyone in the Bay area who doesn’t live with a room-mate.” (Not sure I want to interpret that…) It must be lonely in there
-Podcast then switches to talking about Cassamassina’s “Nintendo is lazy” column. For more reference, read my last post
-Talks about how Gamecube Nintendo used to push big huge games with cutting edge graphics. Exactly. Sad thing about this is that no one bought into em. I wonder why
-Says Nintendo stopped doing this because they couldn’t compete. (No mention of Blue Ocean Strategy.) And I blame this on the Playstation 2.
-”Wii has been phenomenally successful, but it is the first Nintendo console I do not want to play.” “A great example of this would be the new Super Mario Brothers for the Wii.” And yet I'm getting nightmares about how Nintendo is curb stomping the 360 and PS3 with their Wii. CURSE YOU NIGHTMARES!
-Mario 5 doesn’t set the world on fire in how it uses the Wii. It is just “Here’s the game!” Exactly. It's forcing us to enjoy the game without putting up a narrative.
-Call Mario 5 a DS port. “Nintendo just took everything that worked on the DS and just put it on the Wii.” I protest this. It should be an NES Port
-”That is how Nintendo has been so financially successful.” Ya know, that was a direct insult to Sony and Microsoft. Take that back IGN or I'll accuse you of being a pro-Nintendo Socialist.
-Says there was no money put into Mario 5. No money for Research and Development. Exactly. No money was put into that game, just like how Microsoft put no money into Halo 3: ODST, Activision put no money into Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, and Warner Bros put no money into Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
-Wii is a Gamecube with a new peripheral. Just like how the 360 is the old X-Box with gimped Backwards compatibility and better graphics, and the PS3 is a PS2 with Blu-Ray, better graphics, and PS2 compatibility ripped out of its circuits
-Nintendo has given up the battle of the epic games to Microsoft and Sony. “Absolutely,” replies another. Because epic games require being a first or third person shooter
-Nintendo doesn’t care to enter the battle of Microsoft and Sony. “And I think it is hurting them in the long run.” Exactly. It's because the Gamecube tried that and they got butthurt. Get back in there or I'll make ya
-Nintendo needs to go after the hardcore. One person says their mom has a Wii and hasn’t bought a game for it. All while millions of 360 and PS3 owners buy the newest Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Who needs all those extra games?
-One person used his Mom’s Wii, puts in the new Mario game, declares the Wii controllers are all dead, then updates the Wii’s firmware. Then says he updates the firmware yet again. Wait, could you repeat that again when my 360's firmware is updated?
-Craig Harris: Mario Galaxy is epic because of its story (as well as its texture mapping and cutscenes). However, Galaxy isn’t as good as games on the HD Twins because games on the HD Twins have more epic stories. Because you can never make an epic story on the Playstation 2, Gamecube or X-Box. Nope, never gonna happen.
-Craig Harris isn’t happy how people accept what Nintendo is doing by not putting epic stories into their games. “Link doesn’t talk!” If anything, Link should be voiced by Jason Anthony Grif*Gets booed at* Okay I'll shut up on that.
-Craig Harris after demanding that Nintendo games have voice acting: “I really want to play games like Uncharted 2 on the Wii.” And while we're at it, hire Michael Bay to do the special effects.
-”Assassin’s Creed 2 feels like a Mature Zelda game.” Exactly. Okami didn't count and it never count. Why? Because nether Zelda nor Okami teaches you how to assassinate
-Craig Harris: “I know video games are in the money making business. But companies like Microsoft and Sony are doing certain things and if Nintendo is going to sit back and relax…” then Sony and Microsoft will end up sitting back and relaxing.
-”They’re betting that the casual market will be there forever.” It's not going to last forever this expanding market. It's not like it's been here since the NES era.
-Nintendo is doomed because Wii is going to become like the N64. Sony is going to sneak up through them. Exactly. It will sneak through the 360 and Wii. Just as soon as Sony drops it further, then watch as the Wii bypasses them again as the NPD said
-”Wii totally reminds me of how it is used in casual households is like the crappy systems you see in Walgreens when you are checking out. Plug and play guitars!” “It’s like a little gimmick when you want to do something with it.” Yeah. Like Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Everyone wants it
-Keeps attacking the “casual audience”. Hands off my video game systems you leftist casuals.
-Likens the “casual players” to what caused the Atari crash in 1983 (not joking, they said it). Exactly. We should slam these guys for being casual all while we continue to buy the newest Madden and Call of Duty.
-Says Nintendo is where it is at the end of the latter SNES days where Nintendo is sitting comfortably and getting ready to make the N64. Says Nintendo will fall once Sony Wand and Microsoft Natal get released. Well I protest the Wand and Natal because it will fit Sony and Microsoft into Nintendo's shoes. DON'T DO THIS SONY AND MICROSOFT! DON'T GO AFTER THE CASUAL MARKET! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!
-Mentions an email where it asks Cassamassina, “Why don’t you go after Nintendo for being lazy with Mario Galaxy? It is, after all, tons of recycled content with purple coins and all.” They say this doesn’t count since “all games have that.” Yeah. Every game requires you to find purple coins to unlock the green gloop.
-Start bashing Phantom Hourglass. Welcome to 2 years ago
-Says Wii is best when emulating the PC. “like games as World of Goo.” That reminds me, when are they gonna do World of Warcraft: Wii Edition?
-Says if you are a new consumer looking for motion control, you will be wowed by Natal and Wand. Get off my systems you liberal gamers*barks like a dog*
-Say they like Wand because they actually hold it. Yeah, you actually hold it just like you hold a Wiimote
-Others say they are skeptical of both Natal and Wand since they are copying what Nintendo is doing. They're not just copying what Nintendo is doing, they're also trying to get the Casual audience. KEEP THOSE CASUALS AWAY! THE POWER OF MASTER CHIEF COMPELS YOU!
-Another email says NSMB Wii is being knocked more than it should. Is annoyed people are bashing the side scroller. They disagree with the email and says Nintendo didn’t do anything with Mario 5 except putting out a red box. That's all they did. They didn't put in Koopalings with all new character models with slight redesigns.
-In a Japanese magazine, Miyamoto says he wanted the gameplay to be the same for all four characters in Mario 5. No. I wanted a gun-toting Hedgehog in New Super Mario Bros Wii...or at least a cursing squirrel.
-Reads an email who says that Mario 5 was scored too high by IGN and should be below an 8. Yeah. While we're at it, I think Super Mario Galaxy was rated too high. Score it around a 4.9 and you'll get my approval.
-Says Gamecube was a hardcore system (I thought it was a kiddy system?) Exactly. And the PS2 was a kiddie casual system. CURSE YOU PLAYSTATION 2
-Starts bashing Animal Crossing Wii and Wii Music. ME HATE ANIMAL CROSSING AND WII MUSIC! ME HATE PEOPLE LIKING IT! ME WANNA THROW FIT LIKE HULK! HULK NOT DO MATH! HULK SMASH!
-”What is the point of complaining?” says an email. “Because we got tons of comments and tons of traffic,” answers Harris. This is perhaps why this podcast is so intentionally bad. Inspired by Glenn Beck
-Bashes the Quarter 1 release schedule from Nintendo. All while Wii Fit continued to dominate in the NPD Software
-Talk about their favorite Wii games. Mention Mario Kart Wii and Boom Blox. No. You do NOT praise ANY WII games. That is unlawful IGN! BASH THEM AND BASH THEM GOOD YOU SON OF A SUBMARINERS!
-Doesn’t know why Excitebots isn’t selling. I'll tell you why. THAT GAME HAS NO GUNS! NO GUNS, NO BLOOD, NO SALE! You put guns in that game, and I'll make a deal
-Harris admits he thinks Mario 5 is one of the top games for the system (odd for bashing it so much earlier in this podcast) This is hypocritcism. You do NOT bash Mario 5, then go to praise it. Back to your bashing, NOW!
-One email asks if Blaster Master sells well on VC, will it get a sequel? (Doesn’t appear they answer this.) I got an answer. Does that game have realistic graphics? No? Tough noogies.
-Says no one will try a VC game they haven’t played. Because they're all too busy waiting for what they wanna play and that's it.
-Email complains about how Daemon’s WiiWare reviews all complain about leaderboards not being online. He's complaining that there aren't online leaderboards because that's a way to brag, all while some jackass takes your spot away and you respond by sending them a retarded message
-Tells developers, who might be listening, that it is 2010 that they should only put arcade games with online leaderboards. Creativity? Pssh. Who needs that? Just slap online leaderboards onto a game you already made, throw it onto WiiWare/XBLA/PSN/Steam and call it a day
-Email asks if Project Hammer being resurrected with Motion Plus. No answer, just hyena sounds as they laugh at their own jokes you can’t make out. *Throws rotten meat into the pack*
At first, when I read it, I was inspired. But as I went on, I saw them as the one thing that is killing the gaming industry....casuals. They're eating away at our playtime like how Termites eat at our house. Which is why I have a proposal to IGN. If you want a totally unbiased journalist at your helm to trash the Wii(And maybe everything else), I have just the man for the job.
That's right: Host of his own show on Fox News: Glenn Beck.
He'll teach gamers why the Wii, along with the rest of the gaming industry, is a leftist video game console that promotes Socialism, all while telling gamers that gold is a more worthy investment than video games.
IGN, do us all a favor and invite Glenn Beck. He'll do a better job than these has-beans in that recent sorry excuse for a podcast.
Works Cited: Malstrom’s Articles News
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Nintendo is lazy....and I approve
Folks, if there's one thing I pride myself when it comes to gaming companies, it's Laziness. In fact, this is the only time I wanna salute Nintendo, other than the other times I saluted Nintendo, though that's off the top of my head. Of course, Matt Casamassina of IGN managed to point this out and I gotta agree with them.
With all due respect to Miyamoto, a proven gaming genius and innovator, that's just lazy. Either that, or Nintendo has gone off the deep end in its dogged pursuit of the business bottom line. This is not a two-man garage developer which works on games after its kids go to bed. It's a multi-billion dollar corporation with thousands of employees, many of whom have helped shape the very industry as we know it. A cash behemoth with unrivaled game-making experience. That it might even ponder recycling a character for one its most beloved and lucrative franchises so that it might save time, money, or whatever, seems ludicrous. That it actually did so is unbelievable.
Exactly. Little effort means a lot of green nowadays. It worked with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 when they ditched Dedicated Servers and had a single player shorter than New Super Mario Bros Wii all to focus on Multiplayer. Isn't that what shooters are all about, Mr Casamassina? It's all about playing your friends online and cursing at them like drunken sailors, only to de-friend them when they pull a cheap shot at ya. I mean, it's not like millions of gamers ignored the Gamecube's hardcore titles and left the Gamecube in the dust. I mean that forced Nintendo into playing this hand.
But Mr Casamassina, what I heard just shocked me.
We all praise Nintendo for returning gameplay and not graphical pop to the forefront. Since their conception, games have been designed to be fun first and everything else second. Nintendo seems to realize that more than any other developer in the world, which is why some of its presentational shortcomings are usually overshadowed by welcomed over-compensations in control and design. But make no mistake: Wii Sports is also the product of Nintendo's bottom line and, yes, even laziness to some degree. The developer could have achieved a simple, accessible visual style with lots of added detail and effects, but it chose not to. Wii Sports dons a crisp, clean look, but is otherwise decidedly generic, static, and frankly, archaic. Nintendo spent less time, energy and money on the graphics because it had a winning hook to fall back on, which was of course the new motion controls. Why, though, should innovation come at the expense of presentation? Because it's easier and cheaper.
Mr Casamassina, haven't you learned the truth about laziness? You don't need innovation to be easier and cheaper. You can copy off recent fads just to be easier and cheaper. EA copied off of the Grand Theft Auto fad with the Godfather, by using an actual movie license. Killzone 1 and 2 are supposed Halo killers. Unreal Tournament came off of the popularity of Quake III Arena. There are tons of shooters on the X-Box 360 due to the popularity of Halo(Yes, I'm referencing Halo again). There are MMOs that want to be like World of Warcraft. In fact, the gaming industry wants to outperform Hollywood itself and make it look outdated. How's that for laziness?
And another thing, Mario Galaxy and Zelda: Twilight Princess were just mere updates of the previous game. But then again, everyone does it even with new IPs.
Works Cited: IGN Article: Nintendo is Lazy and You Don't Care
With all due respect to Miyamoto, a proven gaming genius and innovator, that's just lazy. Either that, or Nintendo has gone off the deep end in its dogged pursuit of the business bottom line. This is not a two-man garage developer which works on games after its kids go to bed. It's a multi-billion dollar corporation with thousands of employees, many of whom have helped shape the very industry as we know it. A cash behemoth with unrivaled game-making experience. That it might even ponder recycling a character for one its most beloved and lucrative franchises so that it might save time, money, or whatever, seems ludicrous. That it actually did so is unbelievable.
Exactly. Little effort means a lot of green nowadays. It worked with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 when they ditched Dedicated Servers and had a single player shorter than New Super Mario Bros Wii all to focus on Multiplayer. Isn't that what shooters are all about, Mr Casamassina? It's all about playing your friends online and cursing at them like drunken sailors, only to de-friend them when they pull a cheap shot at ya. I mean, it's not like millions of gamers ignored the Gamecube's hardcore titles and left the Gamecube in the dust. I mean that forced Nintendo into playing this hand.
But Mr Casamassina, what I heard just shocked me.
We all praise Nintendo for returning gameplay and not graphical pop to the forefront. Since their conception, games have been designed to be fun first and everything else second. Nintendo seems to realize that more than any other developer in the world, which is why some of its presentational shortcomings are usually overshadowed by welcomed over-compensations in control and design. But make no mistake: Wii Sports is also the product of Nintendo's bottom line and, yes, even laziness to some degree. The developer could have achieved a simple, accessible visual style with lots of added detail and effects, but it chose not to. Wii Sports dons a crisp, clean look, but is otherwise decidedly generic, static, and frankly, archaic. Nintendo spent less time, energy and money on the graphics because it had a winning hook to fall back on, which was of course the new motion controls. Why, though, should innovation come at the expense of presentation? Because it's easier and cheaper.
Mr Casamassina, haven't you learned the truth about laziness? You don't need innovation to be easier and cheaper. You can copy off recent fads just to be easier and cheaper. EA copied off of the Grand Theft Auto fad with the Godfather, by using an actual movie license. Killzone 1 and 2 are supposed Halo killers. Unreal Tournament came off of the popularity of Quake III Arena. There are tons of shooters on the X-Box 360 due to the popularity of Halo(Yes, I'm referencing Halo again). There are MMOs that want to be like World of Warcraft. In fact, the gaming industry wants to outperform Hollywood itself and make it look outdated. How's that for laziness?
And another thing, Mario Galaxy and Zelda: Twilight Princess were just mere updates of the previous game. But then again, everyone does it even with new IPs.
Works Cited: IGN Article: Nintendo is Lazy and You Don't Care
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Remember folks: Mega Man 10 does not equal Mega Man X
In a shocking announcement by Nintendo Power, Capcom has announced Mega Man 10. That's right, we're going into our 10th Mega Man game ever, and that's not counting the Game Boy Mega Mans, the spin-offs, or even the animated series.
So what's new other than the usual "Blow your way through 8 bosses such as Sheep Man?" And I'm not kidding on the Sheep Man subject. Next thing you'll know, they'll create a Pitbull Woman. Well believe it or not, this will be the first Mega Man game since Mega Man and Bass for the Super Famicom and Game Boy Advance to feature more than just one playable right from the start. That's right, Mega Man will be joined by his brother Proto Man(AKA Break Man) and a 3rd unknown playable. Me know who it gonna be.
Yeah, that's right. Bass. Come on Capcom. Spill it so I can play as Dr Wily's favorite Robot.
As for the story and graphics, the graphics will remain 8-bit. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Graphics in games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, Assassin's Creed, Uncharted 2, and Risk are boring. This is a real man's graphics. And the story involves Mega Man and his crew finding a cure for Robotenza. In other words: Circuit Flu. I think we all know who we should blame for this one
We all know it's Dr Wily. I mean, he actually framed Dr Light for a robot rebellion in the last game and taking the last Twinkie. CURSE YOU WILY FOR TAKING MY TWINKIE(Shakes fist)
As of now, Mega Man 10 is announced for WiiWare, but do expect it to come to XBLA and PSN.
Works cited: Nintendo Power scans at Destructoid
So what's new other than the usual "Blow your way through 8 bosses such as Sheep Man?" And I'm not kidding on the Sheep Man subject. Next thing you'll know, they'll create a Pitbull Woman. Well believe it or not, this will be the first Mega Man game since Mega Man and Bass for the Super Famicom and Game Boy Advance to feature more than just one playable right from the start. That's right, Mega Man will be joined by his brother Proto Man(AKA Break Man) and a 3rd unknown playable. Me know who it gonna be.
Yeah, that's right. Bass. Come on Capcom. Spill it so I can play as Dr Wily's favorite Robot.
As for the story and graphics, the graphics will remain 8-bit. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Graphics in games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, Assassin's Creed, Uncharted 2, and Risk are boring. This is a real man's graphics. And the story involves Mega Man and his crew finding a cure for Robotenza. In other words: Circuit Flu. I think we all know who we should blame for this one
We all know it's Dr Wily. I mean, he actually framed Dr Light for a robot rebellion in the last game and taking the last Twinkie. CURSE YOU WILY FOR TAKING MY TWINKIE(Shakes fist)
As of now, Mega Man 10 is announced for WiiWare, but do expect it to come to XBLA and PSN.
Works cited: Nintendo Power scans at Destructoid
Friday, December 4, 2009
A piece of the shovelware pie.
Folks, the reason why I'm upset with Nintendo isn't because they are taking away real games from Sony and Microsoft. Oh no. My real beef with Nintendo is this.
THEY ARE HOARDING ALL THE SHOVELWARE TO THEMSELVES
And they won't let Sony and Microsoft have any. Shame on you Nintendo. Every system has a right to have their own amount of Shovelware. But thankfully, a review by IGN over the game Rogue Warrior actually made me smile. Finally, a real shovelware game for a real system.
We play a lot of games here at IGN, and while not every single game can be an Editor's Choice Award Winner, most of them have merit of some kind. Then there are those games that are completely bankrupt of any value whatsoever – games that not only make you want a refund of your money but of the time you wasted playing the game. The latest digital blight to meet this definition is the recently released Rogue Warrior from Rebellion and Bethesda, a game whose vast technical issues are only overwhelmed by the brevity of the experience. Simply put -- players should stay far away from this title at all costs.
The actual keys needed to make a Shovelware game. Finally, the only way to take out the Wii is simply put, to have more shovelware games than the Wii. Sony, Microsoft, you keep this pace up if you want to stomp the Wii out of commission. In fact, here are some advice to get more shovelware onto the 360 and PS3
1) Have a stupid plot: Stupid plots are always the key to making shovelware. You don't even need a plot to make shovelware. The dumber the better. A word of warning: Making a shovelware game with a stupid plot can backfire if said game turns out to be good in the end.
2) Crazy Physics, lots of it: Low jumping, even by a double jump, slow movement, clipping, dying in the air and staying in the air, mess up the gravity and make sure your jumps don't make it. Those are the tools needed to make a proper shovelware game
3) Stupid AI: When they all rush you like zergs at a Terran Base, or if they're too stupid to notice you, then you got it right. Also, have a hit detection that is mostly based on luck if you want to win in the Shovelware department.
4) Bad graphics and sound: Abysmal character animations, bad texturing, clipping, screen tearing, slowdown, low Frames Per Second. If your game does not have that, then you fail at the art of Shovelware. As for sound, have really cheesy voice acting, and for music, ether make a music that makes your ears bleed, or just take a low frequency screech and loop that.
5) Pile on the Glitches: If you really want to embrace Shovelware, you gotta add glitches and lots of em. Make em so they annoy everyone, especially the Angry Video Game Nerd. And ixnay on the beta testing for glitches. Just test to see if the game works and if it does, you done it.
If you follow my advice, you can come up with the worst shovelware ever. And this kind of shovelware is necessary if Sony and Microsoft wants to ever crush the Wii and send it spiraling into 3rd place.
I think the time has come to announce: SONY AND MICROSOFT'S SHOVELWARE JIHAD AGAINST NINTENDO! COME JOIN THE FIGHT IN MAKING SURE REAL SHOVELWARE IS ON A REAL SYSTEM!
Works Cited IGN Rogue Warrior review: 1.5/10
THEY ARE HOARDING ALL THE SHOVELWARE TO THEMSELVES
And they won't let Sony and Microsoft have any. Shame on you Nintendo. Every system has a right to have their own amount of Shovelware. But thankfully, a review by IGN over the game Rogue Warrior actually made me smile. Finally, a real shovelware game for a real system.
We play a lot of games here at IGN, and while not every single game can be an Editor's Choice Award Winner, most of them have merit of some kind. Then there are those games that are completely bankrupt of any value whatsoever – games that not only make you want a refund of your money but of the time you wasted playing the game. The latest digital blight to meet this definition is the recently released Rogue Warrior from Rebellion and Bethesda, a game whose vast technical issues are only overwhelmed by the brevity of the experience. Simply put -- players should stay far away from this title at all costs.
The actual keys needed to make a Shovelware game. Finally, the only way to take out the Wii is simply put, to have more shovelware games than the Wii. Sony, Microsoft, you keep this pace up if you want to stomp the Wii out of commission. In fact, here are some advice to get more shovelware onto the 360 and PS3
1) Have a stupid plot: Stupid plots are always the key to making shovelware. You don't even need a plot to make shovelware. The dumber the better. A word of warning: Making a shovelware game with a stupid plot can backfire if said game turns out to be good in the end.
2) Crazy Physics, lots of it: Low jumping, even by a double jump, slow movement, clipping, dying in the air and staying in the air, mess up the gravity and make sure your jumps don't make it. Those are the tools needed to make a proper shovelware game
3) Stupid AI: When they all rush you like zergs at a Terran Base, or if they're too stupid to notice you, then you got it right. Also, have a hit detection that is mostly based on luck if you want to win in the Shovelware department.
4) Bad graphics and sound: Abysmal character animations, bad texturing, clipping, screen tearing, slowdown, low Frames Per Second. If your game does not have that, then you fail at the art of Shovelware. As for sound, have really cheesy voice acting, and for music, ether make a music that makes your ears bleed, or just take a low frequency screech and loop that.
5) Pile on the Glitches: If you really want to embrace Shovelware, you gotta add glitches and lots of em. Make em so they annoy everyone, especially the Angry Video Game Nerd. And ixnay on the beta testing for glitches. Just test to see if the game works and if it does, you done it.
If you follow my advice, you can come up with the worst shovelware ever. And this kind of shovelware is necessary if Sony and Microsoft wants to ever crush the Wii and send it spiraling into 3rd place.
I think the time has come to announce: SONY AND MICROSOFT'S SHOVELWARE JIHAD AGAINST NINTENDO! COME JOIN THE FIGHT IN MAKING SURE REAL SHOVELWARE IS ON A REAL SYSTEM!
Works Cited IGN Rogue Warrior review: 1.5/10
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Double Trouble: Erik Estavillo strikes again
IF you all know who Erik Estavillo is, then you're ready for this article. If not, read up on the following articles for more information on this guy at the bottom of the page. Because tonight's Double Trouble, focuses on Estavillo.
First off, Erik Estavillo has now named former head of Microsoft, Bill Gates, in a subpoena. His demand is for Bill Gates to bring actual documents on 360s that have been RRODed and 360s that have been fixed. He also wants data on the number of 360 owners that have been banned from X-Box Live for piracy.
That last demand isn't going to go well when it reveals that only a small number were banned for piracy compared to the number banned for acting like a douchebag.
As if that wasn't enough, he is now naming rappers in the subpoena: Louise Amanda Harman(Lady Sovereign) and Anthony Henderson(Krayzie Bone) of the group: Bones, Thugs and Harmony. The reason why they were subpoenaed was this.
Estavillo desires to, “highlight how rappers are not censored/banned/or punished for ‘cussing/trash talking’ on private property i.e. clubs, concerts, music channels/events or award ceremonies.”
All these lawsuits and subpoenas. It's a good thing he didn't subpoena Michael Richards.
If you want information on Erik Estavillo's lawsuit, you can go over to the Joystiq link. As for why he's decided to subpoena these guys?
Medical professionals cost money I believe. If you subpoena them and want their expert advice they're gonna charge you, which I can't afford. I can't afford expert witness. Also, expert witnesses like Winona Ryder on Catcher in the Rye – I didn't get like a professor of literature which I guess I could have. I chose Wynona Ryder and Martin Gore, one part is because what I say about them is ... Martin Gore through his lyrics you can tell he's sad, lonely, alienated. And on another website, someone asked Martin Gore what his songs mean to his fans and he said, "well, they appeal to the most dysfunctional people." That's what Martin Gore said himself. So, I know he's sad lonely and alienated just through the songs he writes, so that's why I subpoenaed him.
Let's just hope they're not gonna charge him for these subpoenas. Otherwise, he's in big trouble. And that does it for Double Trouble: Erik Estavillo edition. Bet you can't say that three times fast.
Previous Game Reporter Articles on Erik Estavillo: Article 1
Article 2
Work Cited: Game Politics Article 1
Game Politics Article 2
More information at Joystiq
First off, Erik Estavillo has now named former head of Microsoft, Bill Gates, in a subpoena. His demand is for Bill Gates to bring actual documents on 360s that have been RRODed and 360s that have been fixed. He also wants data on the number of 360 owners that have been banned from X-Box Live for piracy.
That last demand isn't going to go well when it reveals that only a small number were banned for piracy compared to the number banned for acting like a douchebag.
As if that wasn't enough, he is now naming rappers in the subpoena: Louise Amanda Harman(Lady Sovereign) and Anthony Henderson(Krayzie Bone) of the group: Bones, Thugs and Harmony. The reason why they were subpoenaed was this.
Estavillo desires to, “highlight how rappers are not censored/banned/or punished for ‘cussing/trash talking’ on private property i.e. clubs, concerts, music channels/events or award ceremonies.”
All these lawsuits and subpoenas. It's a good thing he didn't subpoena Michael Richards.
If you want information on Erik Estavillo's lawsuit, you can go over to the Joystiq link. As for why he's decided to subpoena these guys?
Medical professionals cost money I believe. If you subpoena them and want their expert advice they're gonna charge you, which I can't afford. I can't afford expert witness. Also, expert witnesses like Winona Ryder on Catcher in the Rye – I didn't get like a professor of literature which I guess I could have. I chose Wynona Ryder and Martin Gore, one part is because what I say about them is ... Martin Gore through his lyrics you can tell he's sad, lonely, alienated. And on another website, someone asked Martin Gore what his songs mean to his fans and he said, "well, they appeal to the most dysfunctional people." That's what Martin Gore said himself. So, I know he's sad lonely and alienated just through the songs he writes, so that's why I subpoenaed him.
Let's just hope they're not gonna charge him for these subpoenas. Otherwise, he's in big trouble. And that does it for Double Trouble: Erik Estavillo edition. Bet you can't say that three times fast.
Previous Game Reporter Articles on Erik Estavillo: Article 1
Article 2
Work Cited: Game Politics Article 1
Game Politics Article 2
More information at Joystiq
Monday, November 30, 2009
Good News/Bad News- Wireless blues
Folks, I sense some sadness in the air. So right now, it's time for some Good News/Bad News.
First, the good news. And unfortunately, it's quick. All 3 hardware maufacturers: Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft, are bunched together.
The bad news? Starts with an L and ends with an awsuit. Edmonton company Eleven Engineering has filed a lawsuit against all 3 companies over the wireless capabilities of the controller. That includes the Bluetooth part of it. Said the president John Sobota
“We had made a number of pioneering efforts in video game control, and were granted patents on that technology. There has been widespread infringement of those patents and we had no choice but to protect our rights. I can’t say any more at this point.”
And in terms of their own lawsuit, they demand the following should they win
Eleven seeks compensation for the use of its inventions, plus a court order that would stop further infringement of the patents, which were issued in 2001, 2002 and 2004 for remote frequency and wireless game controllers.
Exactly. This will force our gaming controllers back into the stone age, or last generation. But wait a minute. Wasn't there a lawsuit against Nintendo over its Wiimote? Interlink and Hillcrest Labs. I'm surprised Eleven Engineering doesn't go after those guys.
Works Cited: Edmonton Journal
First, the good news. And unfortunately, it's quick. All 3 hardware maufacturers: Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft, are bunched together.
The bad news? Starts with an L and ends with an awsuit. Edmonton company Eleven Engineering has filed a lawsuit against all 3 companies over the wireless capabilities of the controller. That includes the Bluetooth part of it. Said the president John Sobota
“We had made a number of pioneering efforts in video game control, and were granted patents on that technology. There has been widespread infringement of those patents and we had no choice but to protect our rights. I can’t say any more at this point.”
And in terms of their own lawsuit, they demand the following should they win
Eleven seeks compensation for the use of its inventions, plus a court order that would stop further infringement of the patents, which were issued in 2001, 2002 and 2004 for remote frequency and wireless game controllers.
Exactly. This will force our gaming controllers back into the stone age, or last generation. But wait a minute. Wasn't there a lawsuit against Nintendo over its Wiimote? Interlink and Hillcrest Labs. I'm surprised Eleven Engineering doesn't go after those guys.
Works Cited: Edmonton Journal
Thursday, November 26, 2009
A quiet thanksgiving with a true family
Folks, if you know me, you're probabily stuffed from all that turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and Pumpkin pie. But in truth, it's all about family, and this Thanksgiving, we're paying tribute to a family great enough in the video game universe. That family is none other than Bowser's own Koopalings.(Was once 7, now expanded to 8).
So ladies and gentlemen, lemme present Bowser's own kids
Larry Koopa
Being one of the youngest of the Koopalings, this little Cheatsy is known to be a sports freak. His favorite sports include Tennis, Football, and Dodge Ball, but only when he's making everyone dodge Spiked Iron Balls and Copies of Rush Limbaugh's Music Album. Larry is also known to cheat his other siblings of their allowance. In one scenario, he cheated Roy out of his allowance so bad, that Roy decided to give him a swirly over a lake full of Jelectros. How shocking.
Larry Koopa is one of many Koopalings that I am talking about. But since he was the first, we decided to cover this guy. He's most likely to get a job in Wall Street, Mushroom Kingdom.
Morton Koopa Jr
Jr? So who was Morton Koopa Sr? Bowser's long lost brother? Anyway, this Big Mouth sure lives up to his name, mainly because he must have had one too many fish hooks in his mouth. Unlike his siblings, he has brown scales, while his siblings have tan scales. He happens to be one of the heaviest of Koopalings, despite being younger than most of em. Maybe its because he's known to stuffing himself full of food to bulk up. I mean even Roy and Lugwig couldn't eat that much.
In terms of future, I see Morton Koopa Jr being the Mushroom Kingdom variation of Glenn Beck. Why with his jibba jabba, Morton is sure to rile up some Mushroom citizens to craziness.
Wendy O'Koopa
Bowser's little Princess all villains would love and all soccer moms would fear. This little Kootie Pie wants everything. If she likes it, she wants it. If anyone got in her way, tough noogies. If she didn't get anything her way, she would throw a tantrum, and big time. Even King Bowser wouldn't dare make this little devil cry. I mean take a look at Iggy. He broke one of Wendy's favorite toys and she gave him 2 black eyes.
Since she's also said to be a great singer, Wendy, I suggest becoming more popular than Britney Spears in the future. Not to mention about as bratty.
Iggy Koopa
Wait. You mean to tell me those are glasses? They look more like black eyes to me. Anyway, this koopaling can Hop to the beat when it comes to designing mechanicals. His genius is second to his older brother Lugwig Von Koopa. But he mainly likes to use his inventions to pull nasty pranks on others. In fact, I have a recording where Mario got a prank call from Iggy Koopa(And unfortunately, I am unable to play it thanks to a certain Mushroom Princess).
Iggy Koopa, you may be a genius, but I recommend a better job for you: Shock Jock. You can learn alot from Howard Stern and his krew.
Roy Koopa
Talk about big brute. This Bully lives up to being one. He likes to beat anyone(Or even his siblings) just for the heck of it. When he hits the deck, the whole floor shake, causing earthquakes. Oddly enough, he seems to be obsessed with the color pink. Pink head, Pink Shades, and he once had a Pink Shell. Yeah, a little girly man. The only time he got a beatdown was when his obsession with pink went too far when he tried to swipe Wendy's favorite hair ribbon.
Roy, might I suggest getting a job at the Club Flower as a Bouncer? That was you can beat the snot out of anyone who tries to get in that doesn't belong.
Lemmy Koopa
Take alook at that. Rainbow colored hair. Mohawk. Ponytail. That looks very Hip. Despite his look, Lemmy has the personality of a little child. I mean, he balances himself on that beach ball. And Despite his age, he's the smallest of the Koopalings. Also, he's one of the dumbest, as his child-like act means clumsiness. In one incident, he accidentally threw a beach ball at his sister when trying to aim for Mario. That may be the reason why Wendy got those oversized lips.
Lemmy, I'm sorry to say this, but there's only one job for you: The Circus. Why? Because you're nothing more than a circus freak of a Koopaling
Ludwig Von Koopa
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Brains of the Koopa Klan. This Kooky Koopaling, being the oldest, is also the most talented of them all. It is said that his IQ exceeds even his youngest brother Iggy. He also has a thing for classical music. It is said that he was the one who constructed the airships of the Koopa Fleet, along with the Tanks and Battleships. Most likely all that time playing Warcraft 2 and 3 and Starcraft paid off for him. Well till Bowser Jr came along
Ludwig Von Koopa, I salute you, and what better job for you is none other than President of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Bowser Jr.
Last, but not least, the newest member of the family. Bowser Jr is pretty much like his own father. His loyalty to his father remains pure as his attitude. Snobby, bratty, and a complete troublemaker. He's also the only one of Bowser's kids to have partake in sports games, from Baseball, to Basketball, to Kart Racing, Soccer, and Hedgehog chasing. Rumor has it his father is working alongside an Eggman.
If I would recommend a job for this kid, it would be tax collector. But since he's Bowser's favorite, no doubt Bowser Jr would be the future king of the Koopas.
And there you have it. Bowser's 8 kids. Cute, cuddly, and just wanting to maim you. But the question is...who is their mother?*Me thinks its Princess Peach* Someday, we'll find out.
Works cited on images: Mario Wiki
So ladies and gentlemen, lemme present Bowser's own kids
Larry Koopa
Being one of the youngest of the Koopalings, this little Cheatsy is known to be a sports freak. His favorite sports include Tennis, Football, and Dodge Ball, but only when he's making everyone dodge Spiked Iron Balls and Copies of Rush Limbaugh's Music Album. Larry is also known to cheat his other siblings of their allowance. In one scenario, he cheated Roy out of his allowance so bad, that Roy decided to give him a swirly over a lake full of Jelectros. How shocking.
Larry Koopa is one of many Koopalings that I am talking about. But since he was the first, we decided to cover this guy. He's most likely to get a job in Wall Street, Mushroom Kingdom.
Morton Koopa Jr
Jr? So who was Morton Koopa Sr? Bowser's long lost brother? Anyway, this Big Mouth sure lives up to his name, mainly because he must have had one too many fish hooks in his mouth. Unlike his siblings, he has brown scales, while his siblings have tan scales. He happens to be one of the heaviest of Koopalings, despite being younger than most of em. Maybe its because he's known to stuffing himself full of food to bulk up. I mean even Roy and Lugwig couldn't eat that much.
In terms of future, I see Morton Koopa Jr being the Mushroom Kingdom variation of Glenn Beck. Why with his jibba jabba, Morton is sure to rile up some Mushroom citizens to craziness.
Wendy O'Koopa
Bowser's little Princess all villains would love and all soccer moms would fear. This little Kootie Pie wants everything. If she likes it, she wants it. If anyone got in her way, tough noogies. If she didn't get anything her way, she would throw a tantrum, and big time. Even King Bowser wouldn't dare make this little devil cry. I mean take a look at Iggy. He broke one of Wendy's favorite toys and she gave him 2 black eyes.
Since she's also said to be a great singer, Wendy, I suggest becoming more popular than Britney Spears in the future. Not to mention about as bratty.
Iggy Koopa
Wait. You mean to tell me those are glasses? They look more like black eyes to me. Anyway, this koopaling can Hop to the beat when it comes to designing mechanicals. His genius is second to his older brother Lugwig Von Koopa. But he mainly likes to use his inventions to pull nasty pranks on others. In fact, I have a recording where Mario got a prank call from Iggy Koopa(And unfortunately, I am unable to play it thanks to a certain Mushroom Princess).
Iggy Koopa, you may be a genius, but I recommend a better job for you: Shock Jock. You can learn alot from Howard Stern and his krew.
Roy Koopa
Talk about big brute. This Bully lives up to being one. He likes to beat anyone(Or even his siblings) just for the heck of it. When he hits the deck, the whole floor shake, causing earthquakes. Oddly enough, he seems to be obsessed with the color pink. Pink head, Pink Shades, and he once had a Pink Shell. Yeah, a little girly man. The only time he got a beatdown was when his obsession with pink went too far when he tried to swipe Wendy's favorite hair ribbon.
Roy, might I suggest getting a job at the Club Flower as a Bouncer? That was you can beat the snot out of anyone who tries to get in that doesn't belong.
Lemmy Koopa
Take alook at that. Rainbow colored hair. Mohawk. Ponytail. That looks very Hip. Despite his look, Lemmy has the personality of a little child. I mean, he balances himself on that beach ball. And Despite his age, he's the smallest of the Koopalings. Also, he's one of the dumbest, as his child-like act means clumsiness. In one incident, he accidentally threw a beach ball at his sister when trying to aim for Mario. That may be the reason why Wendy got those oversized lips.
Lemmy, I'm sorry to say this, but there's only one job for you: The Circus. Why? Because you're nothing more than a circus freak of a Koopaling
Ludwig Von Koopa
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Brains of the Koopa Klan. This Kooky Koopaling, being the oldest, is also the most talented of them all. It is said that his IQ exceeds even his youngest brother Iggy. He also has a thing for classical music. It is said that he was the one who constructed the airships of the Koopa Fleet, along with the Tanks and Battleships. Most likely all that time playing Warcraft 2 and 3 and Starcraft paid off for him. Well till Bowser Jr came along
Ludwig Von Koopa, I salute you, and what better job for you is none other than President of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Bowser Jr.
Last, but not least, the newest member of the family. Bowser Jr is pretty much like his own father. His loyalty to his father remains pure as his attitude. Snobby, bratty, and a complete troublemaker. He's also the only one of Bowser's kids to have partake in sports games, from Baseball, to Basketball, to Kart Racing, Soccer, and Hedgehog chasing. Rumor has it his father is working alongside an Eggman.
If I would recommend a job for this kid, it would be tax collector. But since he's Bowser's favorite, no doubt Bowser Jr would be the future king of the Koopas.
And there you have it. Bowser's 8 kids. Cute, cuddly, and just wanting to maim you. But the question is...who is their mother?*Me thinks its Princess Peach* Someday, we'll find out.
Works cited on images: Mario Wiki
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
From Sony to Microsoft to Nintendo and now Activision Blizzard
Folks, the justice of the Banned Resistance gamer, who goes on to go after Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo that I had covered in a previous Double Trouble, is at it again. This time, he's going after a 3rd party. Who is it? SEGA? Ubisoft? SquareEnix? Electronic Arts? Capcom? Oh no. Actually, it's Activision Blizzard. And unfortunately, it's not because of Tony Hawk RIDE.
Actually, it's because of Blizzard's number 1 IP: World of Warcraft. Estavillo lawsuit against WoW claims that the game is made for gamers “to walk or run at a calculated slow pace, resulting in the player taking longer to get where he or she needs to go in the game.” resulting in a taking a long time to finish the game or quests.
Exactly. Who cares if we ask for help or do a LFG(OR the upcoming Cross-server LF Dungeon) and who cares about the amount of content a game has? We want this game done and out of the way in the name of laziness. Also added is that he complains that "Faster transportation is not available until a player levels up accordingly, or purchases an expansion pack." And I gotta agree, even though I'm aware you need to be level 20 just to get your first mount. LEVEL 1s FOREVER! WE'LL SPEND THE DAY LOUNGING ON OUR COUCHES AND EATING FOOD ALL DAY!
In addition, Estavillo is subpoenaing 2 people: Depche Mode found Martin Lee Gore because of him being known to be sad, lonely and alienated in the songs he write, and Winona Ryder due to her and Estavillo's common interest in the book "Catcher in the Rye." Estavillo, there's someone else you should subpoena and I don't mean Jack Thompson.
Orly Taitz. Why? Because these two have one thing in common: They're nutcases.
In conclusion, Estavillo is seeking $1 million in damages and a court order that requires Activision Blizzard to change WoW that addresses the issue of his complaints. Which means...THE END OF THE CATACLYSM! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! AAAHHHHHHH!
Works Cited:
Game Politics
Game Politics also has a link to a Joystiq article on Professional Plaintiffs.
Actually, it's because of Blizzard's number 1 IP: World of Warcraft. Estavillo lawsuit against WoW claims that the game is made for gamers “to walk or run at a calculated slow pace, resulting in the player taking longer to get where he or she needs to go in the game.” resulting in a taking a long time to finish the game or quests.
Exactly. Who cares if we ask for help or do a LFG(OR the upcoming Cross-server LF Dungeon) and who cares about the amount of content a game has? We want this game done and out of the way in the name of laziness. Also added is that he complains that "Faster transportation is not available until a player levels up accordingly, or purchases an expansion pack." And I gotta agree, even though I'm aware you need to be level 20 just to get your first mount. LEVEL 1s FOREVER! WE'LL SPEND THE DAY LOUNGING ON OUR COUCHES AND EATING FOOD ALL DAY!
In addition, Estavillo is subpoenaing 2 people: Depche Mode found Martin Lee Gore because of him being known to be sad, lonely and alienated in the songs he write, and Winona Ryder due to her and Estavillo's common interest in the book "Catcher in the Rye." Estavillo, there's someone else you should subpoena and I don't mean Jack Thompson.
Orly Taitz. Why? Because these two have one thing in common: They're nutcases.
In conclusion, Estavillo is seeking $1 million in damages and a court order that requires Activision Blizzard to change WoW that addresses the issue of his complaints. Which means...THE END OF THE CATACLYSM! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! AAAHHHHHHH!
Works Cited:
Game Politics
Game Politics also has a link to a Joystiq article on Professional Plaintiffs.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Double Trouble: A better Wii Year and Homebrew hoedown
Ahh, New Super Mario Bros Wii. Sounds like a great week for Nintendo eh? THINK AGAIN. This is Double Trouble
First off, according to Gamestop, the Nintendo Wii will have a better year in 2010 than in 2009, quoting them.
I think as we shared earlier, we always see and, for years, we have seen that Nintendo becomes incredibly stronger in the holiday season both from a hardware perspective and a software perspective, and clearly with the large installed base that Nintendo has, we expect it to be a very strong year for Nintendo software as well. In terms of commenting on future development on Nintendo, I cannot comment on that.
And I protest this. Why? The Wii is all about moral values in the form of Shovelware. I need that shovelware like I need hugs and kisses from Barney the Dinosaur. Folks, this mass amount of decent games on the Wii next year will kill the Wii off like it did the 360 and PS3. If you don't want the Wii to fall victim to that, buy more shovelware and let your brain rot over it while you yell and wonder why you even bought that title.
And second, Erik Estavillo is suing Nintendo over the new firmware that caused his Wii's homebrew channel not to function anymore.
Estavillo claims that update 4.3 disabled his Homebrew Channel, which he used to unlock characters in Mario Kart Wii. Plaintiff states that the only way to unlock characters in Mario Kart Wii is to purchase Super Mario Galaxy, which will unlock a single character in the former title. “In essence, Nintendo is forcing customers to buy another game to unlock one character in a different game.”
Exactly. This is a immoral injustice. Heck, what's even more immoral about unlocking Rosalina with a Mario Galaxy save is unlocking Rosalina by getting 1 star in all 8 Mirror Mode Cups. We're lazy and we're proud of it.
Oh BTW, this is the same guy who is suing Sony over being banned from the PSN Network and he's also suing Microsoft over the 360. This guy must remind me of someone I know. Someone who was this...grouchy.
Nah. Too happy. I was thinking Orly Taitz.
And that does it with Double Trouble. Nintendo, you're not just in trouble, you're in double trouble with Sony and Microsoft.
Works Cited:
GoNintendo link 1
GoNintendo link 2
First off, according to Gamestop, the Nintendo Wii will have a better year in 2010 than in 2009, quoting them.
I think as we shared earlier, we always see and, for years, we have seen that Nintendo becomes incredibly stronger in the holiday season both from a hardware perspective and a software perspective, and clearly with the large installed base that Nintendo has, we expect it to be a very strong year for Nintendo software as well. In terms of commenting on future development on Nintendo, I cannot comment on that.
And I protest this. Why? The Wii is all about moral values in the form of Shovelware. I need that shovelware like I need hugs and kisses from Barney the Dinosaur. Folks, this mass amount of decent games on the Wii next year will kill the Wii off like it did the 360 and PS3. If you don't want the Wii to fall victim to that, buy more shovelware and let your brain rot over it while you yell and wonder why you even bought that title.
And second, Erik Estavillo is suing Nintendo over the new firmware that caused his Wii's homebrew channel not to function anymore.
Estavillo claims that update 4.3 disabled his Homebrew Channel, which he used to unlock characters in Mario Kart Wii. Plaintiff states that the only way to unlock characters in Mario Kart Wii is to purchase Super Mario Galaxy, which will unlock a single character in the former title. “In essence, Nintendo is forcing customers to buy another game to unlock one character in a different game.”
Exactly. This is a immoral injustice. Heck, what's even more immoral about unlocking Rosalina with a Mario Galaxy save is unlocking Rosalina by getting 1 star in all 8 Mirror Mode Cups. We're lazy and we're proud of it.
Oh BTW, this is the same guy who is suing Sony over being banned from the PSN Network and he's also suing Microsoft over the 360. This guy must remind me of someone I know. Someone who was this...grouchy.
Nah. Too happy. I was thinking Orly Taitz.
And that does it with Double Trouble. Nintendo, you're not just in trouble, you're in double trouble with Sony and Microsoft.
Works Cited:
GoNintendo link 1
GoNintendo link 2
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The truth about Princess Peach Toadstool
Fellow citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, we are facing dark times. And I'm not talking about when that evil smiley Fawful invaded 2 months ago.
What I'm really concern about is the leader herself: Princess Peach Toadstool. It seems with nearly every game that comes out, she ends up getting kidnapped. Which leads me to wonder: Does she even care for our precious Kingdom? Our precious Mushroom Kingdom?
Princess Peach. Leader of the kingdom, or is secretly trying to destroy the Mushroom people by letting herself get kidnapped? Let's look at it this way. Why it is the Princess gets kidnapped all of the time? I think there's a conspiracy that the Princess does NOT care about the Mushroom Kingdom. Lemme point out the facts here.
I have proof of her conspiracy. On what she wants to achieve. Let's take alook at these key words
Socialism
Totalitarianism
Upside down
Pig
Integrater
And she wants a Dictatorship
If you add the letters together, you get STUPID! That's right. She's completely stupid. Why did the Mushroom people elect a Stupid Princess? I mean, she's so stupid, she has to rely on her boyfriend Mario to get her out of danger
That outfit is the outfit of the communist. Hat, shirt, overalls. His brother, whoever the heck his name is, also shares the same outfit, though with a different color scheme. The sad thing is that Mario has to always rescue the Princess from evil. Or rather...real Mushroom patriots.
But we all want to know this. If the Princess is unfit for ruling the Mushroom Kingdom, then who should rule? Who is more fit to lead this fair Kingdom to prosperity? Well my friends, it's none other than...
BOWSER KOOPA!
That's right. For decades, the Koopas have been discriminated against by the socialists of Peach. And Bowser just wanted to unite both the Mushroom people and the Koopas together as one group. But noo. Princess Peach just wants to stay in her facist society.
Folks. If you want the Mushroom Kingdom to prosper, then you must do one of 3 things
1) Impeach Peach and elect Bowser
2) Force Peach to marry Bowser
3) Go buy New Super Mario Bros Wii
That's all I can say. If you don't do one of 3 things, we may fall to facism, which I may be making up.
Works Cited: Mario Wiki
This post is brought to you buy New Super Mario Bros Wii, now out.
What I'm really concern about is the leader herself: Princess Peach Toadstool. It seems with nearly every game that comes out, she ends up getting kidnapped. Which leads me to wonder: Does she even care for our precious Kingdom? Our precious Mushroom Kingdom?
Princess Peach. Leader of the kingdom, or is secretly trying to destroy the Mushroom people by letting herself get kidnapped? Let's look at it this way. Why it is the Princess gets kidnapped all of the time? I think there's a conspiracy that the Princess does NOT care about the Mushroom Kingdom. Lemme point out the facts here.
I have proof of her conspiracy. On what she wants to achieve. Let's take alook at these key words
Socialism
Totalitarianism
Upside down
Pig
Integrater
And she wants a Dictatorship
If you add the letters together, you get STUPID! That's right. She's completely stupid. Why did the Mushroom people elect a Stupid Princess? I mean, she's so stupid, she has to rely on her boyfriend Mario to get her out of danger
That outfit is the outfit of the communist. Hat, shirt, overalls. His brother, whoever the heck his name is, also shares the same outfit, though with a different color scheme. The sad thing is that Mario has to always rescue the Princess from evil. Or rather...real Mushroom patriots.
But we all want to know this. If the Princess is unfit for ruling the Mushroom Kingdom, then who should rule? Who is more fit to lead this fair Kingdom to prosperity? Well my friends, it's none other than...
BOWSER KOOPA!
That's right. For decades, the Koopas have been discriminated against by the socialists of Peach. And Bowser just wanted to unite both the Mushroom people and the Koopas together as one group. But noo. Princess Peach just wants to stay in her facist society.
Folks. If you want the Mushroom Kingdom to prosper, then you must do one of 3 things
1) Impeach Peach and elect Bowser
2) Force Peach to marry Bowser
3) Go buy New Super Mario Bros Wii
That's all I can say. If you don't do one of 3 things, we may fall to facism, which I may be making up.
Works Cited: Mario Wiki
This post is brought to you buy New Super Mario Bros Wii, now out.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Double Trouble: Boycott fallout and how NOT to buy a PS3
Today's Double Trouble is brought to you by our friends at Destructoid. The same Destructoid who revealed to us the fallout of the reviews of Modern Warfare 2. For those of you who want to see the original article, take alook at the Works Cited below. Now that we have that out of the way, let's begin Double Trouble.
First off, you are all aware that there is a boycott going on around Modern Warfare 2, right? So what is it they're playing to prove that they are boycotting Modern Warfare 2? Is it Audiosurf? Madden? Bioshock? Uncharted 2? World of Warcraft? No, it's none of them
Turns out that Modern Warfare 2 is their choice of game as a group of gamers who are protesting MW2 are playing MW2. Let's show them the screenie boys
Note. Due to screen site, it is confined to its Photobucket page
A boycott? Sounds more and more like a Buycott to me. Look at how many are playing this. That's an effecting Buycott to me.
And for our second article courtesy of Destructoid. Folks, we all want the PS3 to be a major success not just against the 360, but also the Wii, the PC, the handhelds and Barack Obama. In fact, the PS3 should be our next president, even though it is nothing more than a machine to play Video Games with. However, what I am reporting is not how you make the PS3 a success. Oh no.
It seems a group of thugs decided to hold another Teen hostage and force him to buy them a Playstation 3 after the gun counter was closed. But it didn't take long for police to catch up to one of the two, one David Daniels. The other is still at large.
My condolence goes out to Kyle Yarkosky, the teen who was forced to use his grandfather's credit card to buy a PS3. But to the troublemakers who did this, their punishment should be simple....forced to play a Phillips CD-I for 20 years.
And that does it for Double Trouble. In our next post, we're preparing for New Super Mario Bros Wii, and I am going to investigate into Princess Peach Toadstool on why she keeps getting kidnapped. Till then, you're not in trouble, you're in Double Trouble.
Works cited
Destructoid Article: IGN readers HATE Modern Warfare 2
Destructoid Article: This is what the Modern Warfare 2 boycotters are playing
Source of Image
Destructoid Article: Kidnapped teen forced to buy a PS3 at gunpoint
Special thanks to: Jim Sterling
First off, you are all aware that there is a boycott going on around Modern Warfare 2, right? So what is it they're playing to prove that they are boycotting Modern Warfare 2? Is it Audiosurf? Madden? Bioshock? Uncharted 2? World of Warcraft? No, it's none of them
Turns out that Modern Warfare 2 is their choice of game as a group of gamers who are protesting MW2 are playing MW2. Let's show them the screenie boys
Note. Due to screen site, it is confined to its Photobucket page
A boycott? Sounds more and more like a Buycott to me. Look at how many are playing this. That's an effecting Buycott to me.
And for our second article courtesy of Destructoid. Folks, we all want the PS3 to be a major success not just against the 360, but also the Wii, the PC, the handhelds and Barack Obama. In fact, the PS3 should be our next president, even though it is nothing more than a machine to play Video Games with. However, what I am reporting is not how you make the PS3 a success. Oh no.
It seems a group of thugs decided to hold another Teen hostage and force him to buy them a Playstation 3 after the gun counter was closed. But it didn't take long for police to catch up to one of the two, one David Daniels. The other is still at large.
My condolence goes out to Kyle Yarkosky, the teen who was forced to use his grandfather's credit card to buy a PS3. But to the troublemakers who did this, their punishment should be simple....forced to play a Phillips CD-I for 20 years.
And that does it for Double Trouble. In our next post, we're preparing for New Super Mario Bros Wii, and I am going to investigate into Princess Peach Toadstool on why she keeps getting kidnapped. Till then, you're not in trouble, you're in Double Trouble.
Works cited
Destructoid Article: IGN readers HATE Modern Warfare 2
Destructoid Article: This is what the Modern Warfare 2 boycotters are playing
Source of Image
Destructoid Article: Kidnapped teen forced to buy a PS3 at gunpoint
Special thanks to: Jim Sterling
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Review Fallout part 1: Modern Warfare 2
Do you smell that fallout in the air? That's the fallout of Modern Warfare 2. The first set of reviews have come in and apparently, I'm steamed. Why? Because they're in the mid 9s area.
IGN reviewed the PC, 360 and PS3 version and gave it a 9.5/10.
GameTrailers gave it a 9.5 as well, ranking it higher than a PS3 exclusive: Uncharted 2. Does that mean...a Multiplatform game is better than an exclusive? Does that mean...GASP...IT'S THE END OF EXCLUSIVES AND THE BEGINNING OF THE MULTIPLATFORM DARK AGES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Screams like a little girl*
Oh sorry. Was too excited back there.
Even GiantBomb has sold out. They gave this game a Perfect Score, just like they did with Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe.
Of course, not everyone agrees with the reviews and are calling out on it. As you are aware, the PC version will only support 9vs9 and will have P2P servers instead of dedicated servers. But with these reviews, the fallout begins, and I blame this on Destructoid...
I would love to point the finger at IGN and say 'hey this game does not deserve a 9.5 Activision must have paid you off. Failz'
But have you seen the metacritic scores? A lot of other sites gave MW2 a really high score. Why? I dont know
Because they paid those other review sites off. It's a conspiracy.
Who the hell plays a first person shooter for the single player? If you want single player go play a RPG!!!!! FPS were built for multiplayer... Halo come on don't tell me millions play it for its amazing story line (Haha)....
Exactly. Who the hell even plays DooM or Bioshock for its single player. Wait, you're telling me DooM invented SinglePlayer FPS gaming and Bioshock is 100% Single Player? ....I wonder what you've been smoking.
I am shocked to hear Modern Warfare 2 is a great game. I could not tell from the countless gushing articles before now
next, IGN will proclaim Modern Warfare 2 as Game of the Year. That will really shock me
Modern Warfare 2? GOTY over Uncharted 2? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
WOAH THIS GAME IS HORRIBLE, IT ONLY GOT AN INCREDIBLE. I AM DISSAPOINT IGN, NOT BUYING THIS GAME ANYMORE.
That's right. It's got an incredible. Nothing like that has an incredible, whatever the hell that is.
Sounds like IGN got a fat paycheck on this review. Graphics a 10 on a 2 year old graphics engine. IW must have a massive hog for this many people to have their lips wrapped around it at once.
That didn't stop IGN from giving WoW:WOTLK a 9/10(Graphics 8.5/10)
EVERYONE HEAR IS GAY CAUSE THEY ARE BUTT HURT ABOUT SINGLE PLAYER. THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE ON THIS THREAD ARENT CLAMORING ABOUT MULTIPLAYER IS BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THEY ARE PLAYING IT AND ARENT DILDOING THEMSELVES WITH PLOT TWISTS AND EPIC CONCLUSIONS.
If you gotta make your point, you gotta use all typos
okay...f'n ign you give GTA4 a 10 on everything when it is a horrible title no one plays any more and you give modern warfare a 9.5 when it is clearly better in EVERY way? you guys need to fix your shit
All while every other review site repeats what Fox..I mean IGN does.
Wow, no deductions for the PC versions omissions of basic PC online FPS game features! No offense Bozon, but aren't you more of a console player? Shouldn't one of the IGN PC guys be reviewing this game for the PC? Nice way to smooth over a big issue for many, many PC gamers IGN. I can clearly see my time coming to this site for reviews is wasted.
Yeah. Why couldn't they hire their PC reviewers when they're too busy playing WoW:WOTLK? ....CURSE YOU ACTIVISION BLIZZARD
Simulate warfare? BWHAHA, this game is the most aracdey, unrealistc shooter on the market. LMAO.
Because if its not stiff enough, then its not real enough. Activision. Where's the stiffness?
I love how every review I've seen for this so far just seems to "forget" there's a PC version that is complete crap compared to the console versions. It's really sad how bad IW butchered the game for PC and it's one of the reasons I refuse to support this title (even though I wouldn't be playing it on PC).
What? I wouldn't buy this even if there were dedicated servers and 64vs64 multiplayer. I would spend my time boasting about my Di...I mean my PC specs.
Honestly, for everyone trashing the single player campaing, is this the reason why you got Modern Warfare two or was it for the Multiplayer? And for all of the PC gamers stop trashing the game just because you got screwed over
Hey. You don't backmouth me you little rat. I have every right to be a whiny jackass over this.
But of course, why stick with just the comments? The user reviews paint a bigger picture, as I chose 5 of the best user reviews
I WAS TRYING TO PLAY THE SINGLE PLAYER, BUT I THINK I MUST HAVE BLINKED OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE I WAS AT DA END OF THE GAME BEFORE I KNOW IT. THIS IS WHAT THE SINGLE PLAYER WAS LIKE: SHOOTING GALLERY, FAKE MOVIE BIT, SHOOTING GALLERY, FAKE MOVIE BIT, SHOOTING GALLERY, OVER. IT WAS THE WURST.
Wait. You mean sausage is involved? Hype gone up.
This game more fail than the Gov't run health bill that was just passed. 9v9 I can handle. I can handle paying for DLC. No dedicated servers! No Mods! No Lean! This game removes everything that made the previous Call of Duty's a success. You can longer police your server with admins. Everything is done by vote. Punkbuster > VAC. Who remembers Counter-Strike and how hackable that game was. I plan on buying this game just to hack on. Guarantee I make it through a year without being banned.
Wait. This game was really developed by the dogs at the government? But of course. Why didn't Glenn Beck figure this out that Modern Warfare 2 was developed by the liberals in the White House? And where the heck were those tea parties that were gonna be held at Activision's headquarters?
F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever.
Ladies and gentlemen. That my friend, is a professional review
sold out pc gamers for thumb twiddling console noobs. thx much.
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERSNOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
Another fine example of professional reviewing. Folks, if you're gonna review, typing in all caps will get your message out, no matter how much of a retard you are.
biggest disappointment to ever come out on pc, IW fuck off to consol cause no one wants your consol port piss poor shit excusses for a pc games anymore, do it quick before you start making us buy controllers to play your games and make the multiplayer split screen so ur presious consol fans dont feel left out.
Next thing you'll know, Motion Controls will become mandatory on PCs.
I have plans for a part 2. Perhaps a fallout on Gamespot, or any comments that prai...I mean bash me on this article. For now, live long...and lulz.
Works Cited: IGN PC Review
IGN 360 Review
IGN PS3 Review
IGN reviewed the PC, 360 and PS3 version and gave it a 9.5/10.
GameTrailers gave it a 9.5 as well, ranking it higher than a PS3 exclusive: Uncharted 2. Does that mean...a Multiplatform game is better than an exclusive? Does that mean...GASP...IT'S THE END OF EXCLUSIVES AND THE BEGINNING OF THE MULTIPLATFORM DARK AGES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Screams like a little girl*
Oh sorry. Was too excited back there.
Even GiantBomb has sold out. They gave this game a Perfect Score, just like they did with Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe.
Of course, not everyone agrees with the reviews and are calling out on it. As you are aware, the PC version will only support 9vs9 and will have P2P servers instead of dedicated servers. But with these reviews, the fallout begins, and I blame this on Destructoid...
I would love to point the finger at IGN and say 'hey this game does not deserve a 9.5 Activision must have paid you off. Failz'
But have you seen the metacritic scores? A lot of other sites gave MW2 a really high score. Why? I dont know
Because they paid those other review sites off. It's a conspiracy.
Who the hell plays a first person shooter for the single player? If you want single player go play a RPG!!!!! FPS were built for multiplayer... Halo come on don't tell me millions play it for its amazing story line (Haha)....
Exactly. Who the hell even plays DooM or Bioshock for its single player. Wait, you're telling me DooM invented SinglePlayer FPS gaming and Bioshock is 100% Single Player? ....I wonder what you've been smoking.
I am shocked to hear Modern Warfare 2 is a great game. I could not tell from the countless gushing articles before now
next, IGN will proclaim Modern Warfare 2 as Game of the Year. That will really shock me
Modern Warfare 2? GOTY over Uncharted 2? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
WOAH THIS GAME IS HORRIBLE, IT ONLY GOT AN INCREDIBLE. I AM DISSAPOINT IGN, NOT BUYING THIS GAME ANYMORE.
That's right. It's got an incredible. Nothing like that has an incredible, whatever the hell that is.
Sounds like IGN got a fat paycheck on this review. Graphics a 10 on a 2 year old graphics engine. IW must have a massive hog for this many people to have their lips wrapped around it at once.
That didn't stop IGN from giving WoW:WOTLK a 9/10(Graphics 8.5/10)
EVERYONE HEAR IS GAY CAUSE THEY ARE BUTT HURT ABOUT SINGLE PLAYER. THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE ON THIS THREAD ARENT CLAMORING ABOUT MULTIPLAYER IS BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THEY ARE PLAYING IT AND ARENT DILDOING THEMSELVES WITH PLOT TWISTS AND EPIC CONCLUSIONS.
If you gotta make your point, you gotta use all typos
okay...f'n ign you give GTA4 a 10 on everything when it is a horrible title no one plays any more and you give modern warfare a 9.5 when it is clearly better in EVERY way? you guys need to fix your shit
All while every other review site repeats what Fox..I mean IGN does.
Wow, no deductions for the PC versions omissions of basic PC online FPS game features! No offense Bozon, but aren't you more of a console player? Shouldn't one of the IGN PC guys be reviewing this game for the PC? Nice way to smooth over a big issue for many, many PC gamers IGN. I can clearly see my time coming to this site for reviews is wasted.
Yeah. Why couldn't they hire their PC reviewers when they're too busy playing WoW:WOTLK? ....CURSE YOU ACTIVISION BLIZZARD
Simulate warfare? BWHAHA, this game is the most aracdey, unrealistc shooter on the market. LMAO.
Because if its not stiff enough, then its not real enough. Activision. Where's the stiffness?
I love how every review I've seen for this so far just seems to "forget" there's a PC version that is complete crap compared to the console versions. It's really sad how bad IW butchered the game for PC and it's one of the reasons I refuse to support this title (even though I wouldn't be playing it on PC).
What? I wouldn't buy this even if there were dedicated servers and 64vs64 multiplayer. I would spend my time boasting about my Di...I mean my PC specs.
Honestly, for everyone trashing the single player campaing, is this the reason why you got Modern Warfare two or was it for the Multiplayer? And for all of the PC gamers stop trashing the game just because you got screwed over
Hey. You don't backmouth me you little rat. I have every right to be a whiny jackass over this.
But of course, why stick with just the comments? The user reviews paint a bigger picture, as I chose 5 of the best user reviews
I WAS TRYING TO PLAY THE SINGLE PLAYER, BUT I THINK I MUST HAVE BLINKED OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE I WAS AT DA END OF THE GAME BEFORE I KNOW IT. THIS IS WHAT THE SINGLE PLAYER WAS LIKE: SHOOTING GALLERY, FAKE MOVIE BIT, SHOOTING GALLERY, FAKE MOVIE BIT, SHOOTING GALLERY, OVER. IT WAS THE WURST.
Wait. You mean sausage is involved? Hype gone up.
This game more fail than the Gov't run health bill that was just passed. 9v9 I can handle. I can handle paying for DLC. No dedicated servers! No Mods! No Lean! This game removes everything that made the previous Call of Duty's a success. You can longer police your server with admins. Everything is done by vote. Punkbuster > VAC. Who remembers Counter-Strike and how hackable that game was. I plan on buying this game just to hack on. Guarantee I make it through a year without being banned.
Wait. This game was really developed by the dogs at the government? But of course. Why didn't Glenn Beck figure this out that Modern Warfare 2 was developed by the liberals in the White House? And where the heck were those tea parties that were gonna be held at Activision's headquarters?
F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever. F+++++++++++++++++, would not buy ever.
Ladies and gentlemen. That my friend, is a professional review
sold out pc gamers for thumb twiddling console noobs. thx much.
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERSNOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
NOT PURCHASING
NO DEDICATED SERVERS
Another fine example of professional reviewing. Folks, if you're gonna review, typing in all caps will get your message out, no matter how much of a retard you are.
biggest disappointment to ever come out on pc, IW fuck off to consol cause no one wants your consol port piss poor shit excusses for a pc games anymore, do it quick before you start making us buy controllers to play your games and make the multiplayer split screen so ur presious consol fans dont feel left out.
Next thing you'll know, Motion Controls will become mandatory on PCs.
I have plans for a part 2. Perhaps a fallout on Gamespot, or any comments that prai...I mean bash me on this article. For now, live long...and lulz.
Works Cited: IGN PC Review
IGN 360 Review
IGN PS3 Review
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Epic Mickey = Epic Complaints
Folks, there is a wind of change coming on that many of you aren't satisfied with, and it's not just the passing of the Health Care bill in the House. Oh no, it's Mickey's redesign. Or rather, his return to his classic look in Epic Mickey.
(Image provided by Disney Interactive)
Just take alook at it. That's not the Mickey I remembered. It looks like they're turning him into a Sonic the Hedgehog character, even though they are using his 1930s look. I mean, just take alook at it.
That hideous image makes him look like some ghost that wants to haunt my child's dream. I dunno what Walt Disney was thinking giving a mouse a white face. I mean, it worked for a rabbit like Oswald. That's why I have my collection of Classic Mickey Mouse cartoons under lock and key, so I may never taint my childhood with my childhood ever again. Thankfully, his redesign in 1939 makes him scare less kids. And less is more.
Now there's the Mickey that I remembered. One who's suppose to entertain, not scare, my kids. I mean, Mickey Mouse is an American icon. But with this return to his pre-1939 look, it will make him less of an American icon than say, Glenn Beck.
Now isn't that the face of a cute baby? A cute whiny baby.
Goo goo. Gah gah. WAAAAAAH! Mommy, Barack Obama is trying to scare me with a public option. Please give me the status quo bottle so I can ward off evil. WAAAAAH!(Boy I'm gonna get ripped apart for that).
But moving right along, it seems I'm not the only one who's against returning Mickey to his roots. It seems alot of you are also against this. I have sympathy with you and personally, this kind of action puts the Tea Party Activists to shame.
Seems to me the Disney folks might have watched the South Park purity ring episode and thought, "Yes! That's what we want Mickey Mouse to be!"
Oh my god, they killed Donald. You bastards!
Leave Mickey Alone....He looks demonic if this is his spirit we have enough daunting spirits already and the creators have tunnel vision
MONSTER! MONSTER!
Mickey Mouse is an icon of fun and fantasy...to make him "edgy" by the Walt Disney Company is degrading to their image as a family friendly company...in the long run, this could alienate many Disney followers who spend money for their films, DVD's and theme parks. This may backfire bigtime!!
By fun and fantasy, you mean staying at home while Pluto goes fetch the paper for you.
What a joke! lol Now Mickey is going to be evil? The world is once again turning to ****!
Mickey's going evil? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Make the good Bad....Seems like its the way of the world any more> I will watch the CLASSIC Micky on You tube with my Granddaughter!
Goodness knows we need some Goodness in the world!!
Boy is that poster in for a big surprise when he/she finds out said classics resemble Epic Mickey
Great - a menacing Mickey Mouse. Hey money talks, let's wait and see what happens. Betcha this gets dropped like a hot potato when it gets additional pub in the real world where the silent majority still have some morals and a lot more clout than 'gamers'.
Yeah. Let's hope this fails so we can have a spin-off of Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse, all while ignoring the fact that there was Kingdom Hearts.
I don't want to see a more "edgier Mickey Mouse", hate it!
Who got the bright idea of lowering the quality of Mickey to match the characters of today. Leave well enough alone.
Yeah. That's like giving Shadow the Hedgehog a gun. Next thing you'll know, they'll give Mickey Mouse a gun in a future game. Wait? Are you telling me there were shorts where Mickey had a gun? Well...next post please.
walt is rolling in his grave because of this . what else can we take that is good and make it bad ? we tear apart at every fiber in this country that stands for something good and make it have a "bad" side. sorry no return disney trip for me, if they wanted a "mischievous mouse" - then create a new character, but leave "Mickey" alone. Next "Minnie" will be a **** or **** of some kind. damn u for ruining another american icon.
Yeah. We don't want Minnie to become a dancer ala the Gallopin Gaucho.
Lameness, thy name is Disney.
If they wanted to give Mickey an (*snort*) "edge", then they should have gone with Moe the Rat. If you recall the longshoremen's strike, you'll know what I'm talking about.
And I don't really want to know.
Why do this to poor 'ol Mickey? If the wanted a really edgy character, they could have used "Mickey Rat" from the old 1970s ZAP comics! Instead, they risk alienating a devoted core of fans who aren't interested in seeing Mickey get pissed off...
Yeah. Let's go and rip off someone else's character for Disney's new edgier, yet classic, look.
What the hell? I grew up with disney, especially Mickey mouse. He was my childhood hero, man, and now the anti-Semitic creator of this loving character is going to try to make mickey into a blood or a crip. I may be young, but I say we boycott Walt Disney and all of their ****. everybody loved disney until they started to add this "show business." Mickey was loved because he was funny, but now this piece of crap??? like I said, boycott disney and return the good old days to Cartoons!
Yeah. We should return to the good ol days because they were violent, raunchy, and stereotypical.
is'nt there enough violence and hatered in the world. now you have to make cute little mickey look the same. kids look up to this happy little critters. what now kids are going to have the same mean look on thier faces. you guys are sick and out of your minds. we need more happy things and looks in todays sick world. what's wrong with you!!!!!!!
Yeah. I think we all need a hug. But then you'll yell at me and tell me to back off
PLEASE DON'T I LIKE THE NICE MICKEY! ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHILDREN'S CHARACTER!:(
Quoting Chris Crocker: LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE MICKEY MOUSE ALONE! WAAAAH!
OH, please! Disney has gone way to far. Mickey is a good guy and don't wreck it! If disney does this and makes a new mickey like they are talking. I will forbid my children from every watching Mickey again. I have a 2 1/2 year old who totally adores Mickey Mouse and everything is Mickey. I am totally against this move - Disney does this than I will change what my children watch and they will only be able to watch Baby First TV and nothing else.
Glad she doesn't let her child watch Sesame Street
My wife says he looks angry....I say he now looks like Sonic the Hedghog.....We both say our children won't be contributing to Disney's pockets any longer if they are gonna turn Mickey into a character in need of anger management classes, thats Donalds role:(
Actually, I have an objection to this. I'd say he looks more like Shadow the Hedgehog
Bad Disney! Bad, bad, Disney. We really don't need a bad Mickey. Why not a naughty Minnie, or a Devilish Daisy. Better still, a f---edup Goofy. See where I'm coming from. Please use some other character, like Cruella or Snow White's mirror witch.
Yeah. We should use those because they are underused and neglected.
LEAVE "MICKEY MOUSE" ALONE.Hot WALT DISNEY WORLD RE-WORKED THE "JOURNEY INTO IMAGINATION (KODAK) IN E.P.C.O.T. A VERY BIG MISTAKE. IT IS NOT THE SAME. DREAMFINDER AND FIGMENT WERE ASSETS LOST IN THE CHANGE.Sad. DISNEY IS GETTING MARVEL BRAND. GO AN DO SOMETHING WITH THEM AND LEAVE "MICKEY ALONE"
Yeah. They should do something with the Marvel image like Marvel Superhero Squad.
Please leave Mickey alone!! Let my 2 yr old boy grew up like we did, with that friendly face in our t-shirts
Not to mention coffee mugs and placemats.
This is a fail!! they should NOT in any way change Mickey Mouse. My son loves Mickey, he shouldn't be afraid of him. I'm all up for darker things but having Mickey as a darker character wouldn't be a good thing. Lolipops, gumdrops and sunshine and rainbows. You know. Big no!
Next thing you'll know, they'll be downing tons of sugar over this
NO NO NO!
Mickey was my FAVORITE CARTOON as a toddler and it breaks my heart that my niece has no interest in him. This is going to make it 10 times worse.
Little kids dont care for demented looking mice and no teenager is going to become a mickey convert just because he has a darker side :-/
Like Kingdom Hearts didn't do that.
So yeah. In the end, this results in a Disneyfication of the Tea Party that I salute for going against the public option and defending the insurance companies that puts profits over people. Fellow Mickey Mouse fans, if you oppose this nostalgic take on Mickey Mouse that will ruin our childhoods because its like our childhood, you will take arms against this Mouse design.
Works Cited:
MSN Money
New York Times
Perez Hilton
If you want more information on Mickey Mouse classic cartoons, go to Disney Shorts
(Image provided by Disney Interactive)Just take alook at it. That's not the Mickey I remembered. It looks like they're turning him into a Sonic the Hedgehog character, even though they are using his 1930s look. I mean, just take alook at it.
That hideous image makes him look like some ghost that wants to haunt my child's dream. I dunno what Walt Disney was thinking giving a mouse a white face. I mean, it worked for a rabbit like Oswald. That's why I have my collection of Classic Mickey Mouse cartoons under lock and key, so I may never taint my childhood with my childhood ever again. Thankfully, his redesign in 1939 makes him scare less kids. And less is more.
Now there's the Mickey that I remembered. One who's suppose to entertain, not scare, my kids. I mean, Mickey Mouse is an American icon. But with this return to his pre-1939 look, it will make him less of an American icon than say, Glenn Beck.
Now isn't that the face of a cute baby? A cute whiny baby.
Goo goo. Gah gah. WAAAAAAH! Mommy, Barack Obama is trying to scare me with a public option. Please give me the status quo bottle so I can ward off evil. WAAAAAH!(Boy I'm gonna get ripped apart for that).
But moving right along, it seems I'm not the only one who's against returning Mickey to his roots. It seems alot of you are also against this. I have sympathy with you and personally, this kind of action puts the Tea Party Activists to shame.
Seems to me the Disney folks might have watched the South Park purity ring episode and thought, "Yes! That's what we want Mickey Mouse to be!"
Oh my god, they killed Donald. You bastards!
Leave Mickey Alone....He looks demonic if this is his spirit we have enough daunting spirits already and the creators have tunnel vision
MONSTER! MONSTER!
Mickey Mouse is an icon of fun and fantasy...to make him "edgy" by the Walt Disney Company is degrading to their image as a family friendly company...in the long run, this could alienate many Disney followers who spend money for their films, DVD's and theme parks. This may backfire bigtime!!
By fun and fantasy, you mean staying at home while Pluto goes fetch the paper for you.
What a joke! lol Now Mickey is going to be evil? The world is once again turning to ****!
Mickey's going evil? IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Make the good Bad....Seems like its the way of the world any more> I will watch the CLASSIC Micky on You tube with my Granddaughter!
Goodness knows we need some Goodness in the world!!
Boy is that poster in for a big surprise when he/she finds out said classics resemble Epic Mickey
Great - a menacing Mickey Mouse. Hey money talks, let's wait and see what happens. Betcha this gets dropped like a hot potato when it gets additional pub in the real world where the silent majority still have some morals and a lot more clout than 'gamers'.
Yeah. Let's hope this fails so we can have a spin-off of Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse, all while ignoring the fact that there was Kingdom Hearts.
I don't want to see a more "edgier Mickey Mouse", hate it!
Who got the bright idea of lowering the quality of Mickey to match the characters of today. Leave well enough alone.
Yeah. That's like giving Shadow the Hedgehog a gun. Next thing you'll know, they'll give Mickey Mouse a gun in a future game. Wait? Are you telling me there were shorts where Mickey had a gun? Well...next post please.
walt is rolling in his grave because of this . what else can we take that is good and make it bad ? we tear apart at every fiber in this country that stands for something good and make it have a "bad" side. sorry no return disney trip for me, if they wanted a "mischievous mouse" - then create a new character, but leave "Mickey" alone. Next "Minnie" will be a **** or **** of some kind. damn u for ruining another american icon.
Yeah. We don't want Minnie to become a dancer ala the Gallopin Gaucho.
Lameness, thy name is Disney.
If they wanted to give Mickey an (*snort*) "edge", then they should have gone with Moe the Rat. If you recall the longshoremen's strike, you'll know what I'm talking about.
And I don't really want to know.
Why do this to poor 'ol Mickey? If the wanted a really edgy character, they could have used "Mickey Rat" from the old 1970s ZAP comics! Instead, they risk alienating a devoted core of fans who aren't interested in seeing Mickey get pissed off...
Yeah. Let's go and rip off someone else's character for Disney's new edgier, yet classic, look.
What the hell? I grew up with disney, especially Mickey mouse. He was my childhood hero, man, and now the anti-Semitic creator of this loving character is going to try to make mickey into a blood or a crip. I may be young, but I say we boycott Walt Disney and all of their ****. everybody loved disney until they started to add this "show business." Mickey was loved because he was funny, but now this piece of crap??? like I said, boycott disney and return the good old days to Cartoons!
Yeah. We should return to the good ol days because they were violent, raunchy, and stereotypical.
is'nt there enough violence and hatered in the world. now you have to make cute little mickey look the same. kids look up to this happy little critters. what now kids are going to have the same mean look on thier faces. you guys are sick and out of your minds. we need more happy things and looks in todays sick world. what's wrong with you!!!!!!!
Yeah. I think we all need a hug. But then you'll yell at me and tell me to back off
PLEASE DON'T I LIKE THE NICE MICKEY! ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHILDREN'S CHARACTER!:(
Quoting Chris Crocker: LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE MICKEY MOUSE ALONE! WAAAAH!
OH, please! Disney has gone way to far. Mickey is a good guy and don't wreck it! If disney does this and makes a new mickey like they are talking. I will forbid my children from every watching Mickey again. I have a 2 1/2 year old who totally adores Mickey Mouse and everything is Mickey. I am totally against this move - Disney does this than I will change what my children watch and they will only be able to watch Baby First TV and nothing else.
Glad she doesn't let her child watch Sesame Street
My wife says he looks angry....I say he now looks like Sonic the Hedghog.....We both say our children won't be contributing to Disney's pockets any longer if they are gonna turn Mickey into a character in need of anger management classes, thats Donalds role:(
Actually, I have an objection to this. I'd say he looks more like Shadow the Hedgehog
Bad Disney! Bad, bad, Disney. We really don't need a bad Mickey. Why not a naughty Minnie, or a Devilish Daisy. Better still, a f---edup Goofy. See where I'm coming from. Please use some other character, like Cruella or Snow White's mirror witch.
Yeah. We should use those because they are underused and neglected.
LEAVE "MICKEY MOUSE" ALONE.Hot WALT DISNEY WORLD RE-WORKED THE "JOURNEY INTO IMAGINATION (KODAK) IN E.P.C.O.T. A VERY BIG MISTAKE. IT IS NOT THE SAME. DREAMFINDER AND FIGMENT WERE ASSETS LOST IN THE CHANGE.Sad. DISNEY IS GETTING MARVEL BRAND. GO AN DO SOMETHING WITH THEM AND LEAVE "MICKEY ALONE"
Yeah. They should do something with the Marvel image like Marvel Superhero Squad.
Please leave Mickey alone!! Let my 2 yr old boy grew up like we did, with that friendly face in our t-shirts
Not to mention coffee mugs and placemats.
This is a fail!! they should NOT in any way change Mickey Mouse. My son loves Mickey, he shouldn't be afraid of him. I'm all up for darker things but having Mickey as a darker character wouldn't be a good thing. Lolipops, gumdrops and sunshine and rainbows. You know. Big no!
Next thing you'll know, they'll be downing tons of sugar over this
NO NO NO!
Mickey was my FAVORITE CARTOON as a toddler and it breaks my heart that my niece has no interest in him. This is going to make it 10 times worse.
Little kids dont care for demented looking mice and no teenager is going to become a mickey convert just because he has a darker side :-/
Like Kingdom Hearts didn't do that.
So yeah. In the end, this results in a Disneyfication of the Tea Party that I salute for going against the public option and defending the insurance companies that puts profits over people. Fellow Mickey Mouse fans, if you oppose this nostalgic take on Mickey Mouse that will ruin our childhoods because its like our childhood, you will take arms against this Mouse design.
Works Cited:
MSN Money
New York Times
Perez Hilton
If you want more information on Mickey Mouse classic cartoons, go to Disney Shorts
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Double Trouble: Modern Warfare 2 and Warcraft in China
Activision haters, Blizzard Entertainment, I've got some bad news for you. You're both in Double Trouble.
First up, for Activision Haters. You hated Modern Warfare 2 because of a lack of dedicated servers. You hated Modern Warfare 2 because of the fact that you can play as the Terrorist rather than the Counter-Terrorist. However, what you're about to hear will SHOCK you. According to Destructoid, Modern Warfare 2 is set to become the biggest Video Game of all time, with GameStop having more pre-orders for this game than any other video game in history
"By all indicators, we anticipate Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 will be the biggest entertainment launch of all time," says GameStop's Tony Bartel. "As of today, the number of pre-order reservations we've taken for the game is the highest for any title we've ever sold in our 6,200 store network."
This is about as bad for gamers as it is when GOP members swept up New Jersey, Virginia and New York for the Mayoral seats. Even more so, according to GamePolitics, the controversy over this game has not stopped pre-orders from shattering a record once held by Grand Theft Auto IV.
Wedbush Morgan Securities analyst Michael Pachter thinks the title can reap global sales of in excess of $500 million in its first week of release reports Industry Gamers. Pachter also believes that the game could sell over 10.0 million units in this year’s fourth quarter.
10 Million units. Suck it down Halo 3 ODST, Uncharted 2 and New Super Mario Bros.
And second, for those of you in China who play World of Warcraft, get ready for a shocker. According to Kotaku, China's General Administration of Press and Publication orders the game suspended in that country due to "Gross violations" of national regulation. This move orders NetEase to "stop operating" the title, cease charging existing user's accounts and block any new account registrations.
However, things got more complicated when a Ministry of Culture of China called the GAPP's action inappropriate. That's bound to result in some mud slinging all while computer nerds in China are busy playing on US and EU WoW Servers.
And that's it for Double Trouble. Remember, you may not be in Trouble. You may be in Double Trouble
Works Cited:
Destructoid
Game Politics
Kotaku(More information at MTV Games and Reuters in the links provided at Kotaku)
First up, for Activision Haters. You hated Modern Warfare 2 because of a lack of dedicated servers. You hated Modern Warfare 2 because of the fact that you can play as the Terrorist rather than the Counter-Terrorist. However, what you're about to hear will SHOCK you. According to Destructoid, Modern Warfare 2 is set to become the biggest Video Game of all time, with GameStop having more pre-orders for this game than any other video game in history
"By all indicators, we anticipate Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 will be the biggest entertainment launch of all time," says GameStop's Tony Bartel. "As of today, the number of pre-order reservations we've taken for the game is the highest for any title we've ever sold in our 6,200 store network."
This is about as bad for gamers as it is when GOP members swept up New Jersey, Virginia and New York for the Mayoral seats. Even more so, according to GamePolitics, the controversy over this game has not stopped pre-orders from shattering a record once held by Grand Theft Auto IV.
Wedbush Morgan Securities analyst Michael Pachter thinks the title can reap global sales of in excess of $500 million in its first week of release reports Industry Gamers. Pachter also believes that the game could sell over 10.0 million units in this year’s fourth quarter.
10 Million units. Suck it down Halo 3 ODST, Uncharted 2 and New Super Mario Bros.
And second, for those of you in China who play World of Warcraft, get ready for a shocker. According to Kotaku, China's General Administration of Press and Publication orders the game suspended in that country due to "Gross violations" of national regulation. This move orders NetEase to "stop operating" the title, cease charging existing user's accounts and block any new account registrations.
However, things got more complicated when a Ministry of Culture of China called the GAPP's action inappropriate. That's bound to result in some mud slinging all while computer nerds in China are busy playing on US and EU WoW Servers.
And that's it for Double Trouble. Remember, you may not be in Trouble. You may be in Double Trouble
Works Cited:
Destructoid
Game Politics
Kotaku(More information at MTV Games and Reuters in the links provided at Kotaku)
Monday, November 2, 2009
Extra Life/Game Over: Of Iwata, DS, Hedgehogs, Zombies, and Ratings
What is Extra Life/Game Over? It's a little segment similar to Stephen Colbert's Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger. I may express an approval(Extra Life) or disapproval(Game Over). Sometimes I may give em an extra life, before turning around and giving them a game over, or vice versa. So here it is, my first Extra Life/Game Over segment.
First up, an extra life to Satoru Iwata, for finally admitting that Wii sales have stalled. Quoting the CEO of Nintendo..
"Wii has stalled," Iwata told a press conference, reports Andriasang. "We were unable to continually release strong software, and let the nice mood cool. We were unable to show a new game to become 'the next thing.' In the game market, once you’ve lost the momentum, it takes time to recover," he offered.
That means less people whining about how Nintendo is killing gaming with the Wii, well despite the fact that there aren't as many hit titles this year as last year, according to him
“So far I have been talking about the market based on the number of units. Now I would like to look at the market in terms of monetary sales volume…We attribute the main reason of worldwide market contraction to the lack of hit titles across the industry in the first half of the year.”
I mean, why buy games like Street Fighter IV, Punch-Out, Wii Sports Resort, ExciteBots, Resident Evil 5 or MadWorld, when you could just pick up Wii Fit like millions of people? The NPD stated so.
Also, an Extra Life to the Nintendo DS, for finally catching up to the PSP in terms of designs. Why do you ask? The DSi is getting a 2nd redesigned called the DSi XL. It's like the DSi, except larger. It's like the transition from PSP-2000 to PSP-3000.
Speaking of which, a Game Over for Sony for their rumored 5th redesign of the PSP with the upcoming PSP-4000. Now it's not the fact that it's their 5th redesign, but it's rather the fact that they chose to stick with the UMD. Earth to Sony, you don't rip gamers off with UMDs. You rip them off with Digital Downloads priced similar to UMDs. You were going great with the PSP-Go. And now you're making a PSP-4000 with UMD support? Shame on you.
Next, a Game Over to Sonic Unleashed, and this one is bad news for Sonic haters, Wii haters, and haters of anything but Shooters and Sport sims. I looked at VGChartz recently and what I saw broke my heart. Overall, Sonic Unleashed sold 2.5 Million across the Wii, PS2, PS3 and 360 with the Wii version at 1.11 million units sold.
This is a walking nightmare, simply because I was one of those who wanted Sonic Next-Gen to outsell Secret Rings because the Wii is too kiddy for a Sonic game, even though the former had a scene where a princess kissed Sonic. The fact that a Sonic game sells best on a Nintendo system is as mindblowing as Mega Man 9 being exclusive in Japan to the Wii itself. I mean what next, a Shadow the Hedgehog sequel that happens to be a Smash Bros Brawl spin-off? That's gonna turn off Sonic and Nintendo fanboys(And Metal Gear fanboys since aliens and Metal Gears don't mix, unlike Aliens and Monsters)
Next, an Extra Life to Rockstar, for announcing an AO-rated Manhunt 2 on PC as a Digital Distributed game. Quoting Game Politics...
The BigDownload notes that Manhunt 2 will be offered via the digital delivery system of Direct2Drive for $29.95. Purchases are limited to those who live in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. While Valve offers a full Rockstar Games collection through its Steam service, no mention of the pending availability of an AO-rated Manhunt 2 game can be found anywhere on their site or within Steam.
Console fans should be ashamed at buying the inferior version of Manhunt 2, simply because the PC version is completely uncensored, regardless of the fact that the game was average at best.
Finally, an extra life to Zombies. Around the time of Halloween last week, SEGA went with tradition and introduced the Curien Mansion from House of the Dead as a track. And finally having been discriminated at by trigger happy gunmen ala Agent G, Leon Kennedy, and members of the Alliance of Azeroth, Zombies are finally getting the respect they deserve, where 2 characters from House of the Dead EX named Zobio and Zobiko, will be playable.
It's been long overdue that Zombies get the respect. Now I demand a light gun game where you play as the Zombie and turn the tables on those crazed gunmen. Justice will be served.*Shakes fist
And that does it for Extra Life/Game Over.
Works Cited:
Games Industry(Iwata)
Nintendo Everything
Joystiq
Engadget
VGChartz
Game Politics
SEGA Nerds
First up, an extra life to Satoru Iwata, for finally admitting that Wii sales have stalled. Quoting the CEO of Nintendo..
"Wii has stalled," Iwata told a press conference, reports Andriasang. "We were unable to continually release strong software, and let the nice mood cool. We were unable to show a new game to become 'the next thing.' In the game market, once you’ve lost the momentum, it takes time to recover," he offered.
That means less people whining about how Nintendo is killing gaming with the Wii, well despite the fact that there aren't as many hit titles this year as last year, according to him
“So far I have been talking about the market based on the number of units. Now I would like to look at the market in terms of monetary sales volume…We attribute the main reason of worldwide market contraction to the lack of hit titles across the industry in the first half of the year.”
I mean, why buy games like Street Fighter IV, Punch-Out, Wii Sports Resort, ExciteBots, Resident Evil 5 or MadWorld, when you could just pick up Wii Fit like millions of people? The NPD stated so.
Also, an Extra Life to the Nintendo DS, for finally catching up to the PSP in terms of designs. Why do you ask? The DSi is getting a 2nd redesigned called the DSi XL. It's like the DSi, except larger. It's like the transition from PSP-2000 to PSP-3000.
Speaking of which, a Game Over for Sony for their rumored 5th redesign of the PSP with the upcoming PSP-4000. Now it's not the fact that it's their 5th redesign, but it's rather the fact that they chose to stick with the UMD. Earth to Sony, you don't rip gamers off with UMDs. You rip them off with Digital Downloads priced similar to UMDs. You were going great with the PSP-Go. And now you're making a PSP-4000 with UMD support? Shame on you.
Next, a Game Over to Sonic Unleashed, and this one is bad news for Sonic haters, Wii haters, and haters of anything but Shooters and Sport sims. I looked at VGChartz recently and what I saw broke my heart. Overall, Sonic Unleashed sold 2.5 Million across the Wii, PS2, PS3 and 360 with the Wii version at 1.11 million units sold.
This is a walking nightmare, simply because I was one of those who wanted Sonic Next-Gen to outsell Secret Rings because the Wii is too kiddy for a Sonic game, even though the former had a scene where a princess kissed Sonic. The fact that a Sonic game sells best on a Nintendo system is as mindblowing as Mega Man 9 being exclusive in Japan to the Wii itself. I mean what next, a Shadow the Hedgehog sequel that happens to be a Smash Bros Brawl spin-off? That's gonna turn off Sonic and Nintendo fanboys(And Metal Gear fanboys since aliens and Metal Gears don't mix, unlike Aliens and Monsters)
Next, an Extra Life to Rockstar, for announcing an AO-rated Manhunt 2 on PC as a Digital Distributed game. Quoting Game Politics...
The BigDownload notes that Manhunt 2 will be offered via the digital delivery system of Direct2Drive for $29.95. Purchases are limited to those who live in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. While Valve offers a full Rockstar Games collection through its Steam service, no mention of the pending availability of an AO-rated Manhunt 2 game can be found anywhere on their site or within Steam.
Console fans should be ashamed at buying the inferior version of Manhunt 2, simply because the PC version is completely uncensored, regardless of the fact that the game was average at best.
Finally, an extra life to Zombies. Around the time of Halloween last week, SEGA went with tradition and introduced the Curien Mansion from House of the Dead as a track. And finally having been discriminated at by trigger happy gunmen ala Agent G, Leon Kennedy, and members of the Alliance of Azeroth, Zombies are finally getting the respect they deserve, where 2 characters from House of the Dead EX named Zobio and Zobiko, will be playable.
It's been long overdue that Zombies get the respect. Now I demand a light gun game where you play as the Zombie and turn the tables on those crazed gunmen. Justice will be served.*Shakes fist
And that does it for Extra Life/Game Over.
Works Cited:
Games Industry(Iwata)
Nintendo Everything
Joystiq
Engadget
VGChartz
Game Politics
SEGA Nerds
Friday, October 30, 2009
Morgan Webb knows what's for adults...
And frankly, it ain't Super Mario Galaxy, according to her, while the newest Ratchet and Clank is good for everyone. What does that make Super Mario Galaxy? An insult to adults.
“…And let’s be honest, there are no other action-platformers out there…This is it, this is it…This is the only game out there for people who like action-platformers. I mean, I guess Mario Galaxy, but Mario Galaxy feels like its aimed so much for kids. Whereas this is like for everyone, but you feel like you’re not being insulted when playing it as an adult.
And she's right. Why bother to play a game about a mustached plumber when you can play a Lombax armed with a frickin gun? It works wonders with Shadow the Hedgehog
(Image from Fo..I mean IGN)
You know what really made Shadow great? Three things. 1: A Gun. 2: A Motorcycle and 3: A Tomato to throw a Kayne West.
Boy I wish I was Kayne West. I would deserve that tomato for interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech.
But let's not get too hasty. You all remember when Morgan Webb and Adam Sessler were praising Mario Galaxy in 2007, even with a Ratchet and Clank game out on the PS3. So why the change of heart? Why did Morgan Webb go from Mario lover to Mario hater? I think I can sum this up.
Ratchet and Clank
Ratchet of Transformers Animated
Bulkhead of Transformers Animated
Patrick Starfish
Spongebob Squarepants
SKIDS AND MUDFLAP
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The most controversial of all Autobots, the ones that promote negative stereotypes, were the ones that convinced Morgan Webb to support Ratchet and Clank. It makes sense, simply because Mario doesn't use guns, and Ratchet does. I mean the next time Mario goes up against Ratchet, the latter would most likely be wearing a gangsta t-shirt.*And personally, this is why I prefer the Decepticons*
And we all wanna know where Jak is right now.
“…And let’s be honest, there are no other action-platformers out there…This is it, this is it…This is the only game out there for people who like action-platformers. I mean, I guess Mario Galaxy, but Mario Galaxy feels like its aimed so much for kids. Whereas this is like for everyone, but you feel like you’re not being insulted when playing it as an adult.
And she's right. Why bother to play a game about a mustached plumber when you can play a Lombax armed with a frickin gun? It works wonders with Shadow the Hedgehog
(Image from Fo..I mean IGN)You know what really made Shadow great? Three things. 1: A Gun. 2: A Motorcycle and 3: A Tomato to throw a Kayne West.
Boy I wish I was Kayne West. I would deserve that tomato for interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech.
But let's not get too hasty. You all remember when Morgan Webb and Adam Sessler were praising Mario Galaxy in 2007, even with a Ratchet and Clank game out on the PS3. So why the change of heart? Why did Morgan Webb go from Mario lover to Mario hater? I think I can sum this up.
Ratchet and Clank
Ratchet of Transformers Animated
Bulkhead of Transformers Animated
Patrick Starfish
Spongebob Squarepants
SKIDS AND MUDFLAP
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The most controversial of all Autobots, the ones that promote negative stereotypes, were the ones that convinced Morgan Webb to support Ratchet and Clank. It makes sense, simply because Mario doesn't use guns, and Ratchet does. I mean the next time Mario goes up against Ratchet, the latter would most likely be wearing a gangsta t-shirt.*And personally, this is why I prefer the Decepticons*
And we all wanna know where Jak is right now.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Double Trouble: A Recharging pad and a new Anime
Folks. 2 things have come to my attention, and every time that happens, there's bound to be Double Trouble
First off, for those of you who own a variety of devices, from Blackberries to Iphones to Nintendo DSs, comes a Power Mat. This so-called mat let's you charge your devices without the need of additional AC Adaptors.
To use the Powermat, you simply take a device that is “wearing” a receiver and place it on the Powermat. That’s it! Sound and light indicate that a connection has been made and that the device is charging. A second sound indicates when the device is removed from the mat. Once on the mat the device will charge as fast or faster than the stock power adaptor.
I dunno. That sounds really suspicious. I mean, put a device with a receiver on the mat and that's it? Where's the fuckin catch to this?
I mean, look at the hell at this. It looks like a snowboard. Who wants to charge their devices on a snowboard? And furthermore, who even wants to wirelessly charge their devices? That's about as obscure as 2D Platformers, period. Plus that sounds like taking away the freedom to use AC Adaptors to charge. I like the extra wires when it comes to charging. I want that extra clutter. Tripping over a charging wire builds character, like an episode of The Glenn Beck show.
Let's just hope the $99 price point drives people away. Otherwise, this may be doom and gloom for our beloved, yet outdated, AC Adaptors.
And secondly, it seems Grand Theft Auto: Episodes From Liberty City will feature its own Japanese Anime, dubbed Princess Robot Bubblegum
It has everything a true Anime fan would want: Fan Service, bad dubbing, cliched plots, more fanservice, and beer-drinking cute animals. But there's something that's missing. Something...modernized.
That's right. It's not a Moe Anime like Lucky Star. Princess Robot Bubblegum doesn't focus on romance, harem nor slice of life story. This isn't even real anime, just like how Astro Boy, Gegege No Kitaro, Gundam, Sailor Moon, Doraemon, Tekkaman, Gatchaman, Dragon Ball, Dr Slump and One Piece aren't real Anime.
In order for an anime to be truly anime, it has to follow these rules
1) Anime must be for an audience 21 and older that has no life
2) No epic adventures. Not on the high seas.
3) Sci-Fi is outdated, unless it takes place in early 21st century Earth
4) Cute Moe-ish girls are the main characters
5) Never copy off of the Western Animation storylines
6) No English dubbing, even if you hire professionals like Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, Tress Macneille, Gilbert Gottfried, or Vic Mignogna
7) The story involves the character living their everyday lives
And finally
8) Pocky. You have to have lots of Pocky
So there you have it. The rules for making a perfect anime. Because everything else isn't worthy, even if they are better received.
And that does it for Double Trouble. If you think you're not in trouble, you may be in Double Trouble.
Source: Anime WP*Source of 2nd image*
Gear Diary
Kotaku
Double Trouble
First off, for those of you who own a variety of devices, from Blackberries to Iphones to Nintendo DSs, comes a Power Mat. This so-called mat let's you charge your devices without the need of additional AC Adaptors.
To use the Powermat, you simply take a device that is “wearing” a receiver and place it on the Powermat. That’s it! Sound and light indicate that a connection has been made and that the device is charging. A second sound indicates when the device is removed from the mat. Once on the mat the device will charge as fast or faster than the stock power adaptor.
I dunno. That sounds really suspicious. I mean, put a device with a receiver on the mat and that's it? Where's the fuckin catch to this?
I mean, look at the hell at this. It looks like a snowboard. Who wants to charge their devices on a snowboard? And furthermore, who even wants to wirelessly charge their devices? That's about as obscure as 2D Platformers, period. Plus that sounds like taking away the freedom to use AC Adaptors to charge. I like the extra wires when it comes to charging. I want that extra clutter. Tripping over a charging wire builds character, like an episode of The Glenn Beck show.
Let's just hope the $99 price point drives people away. Otherwise, this may be doom and gloom for our beloved, yet outdated, AC Adaptors.
And secondly, it seems Grand Theft Auto: Episodes From Liberty City will feature its own Japanese Anime, dubbed Princess Robot Bubblegum
It has everything a true Anime fan would want: Fan Service, bad dubbing, cliched plots, more fanservice, and beer-drinking cute animals. But there's something that's missing. Something...modernized.
That's right. It's not a Moe Anime like Lucky Star. Princess Robot Bubblegum doesn't focus on romance, harem nor slice of life story. This isn't even real anime, just like how Astro Boy, Gegege No Kitaro, Gundam, Sailor Moon, Doraemon, Tekkaman, Gatchaman, Dragon Ball, Dr Slump and One Piece aren't real Anime.
In order for an anime to be truly anime, it has to follow these rules
1) Anime must be for an audience 21 and older that has no life
2) No epic adventures. Not on the high seas.
3) Sci-Fi is outdated, unless it takes place in early 21st century Earth
4) Cute Moe-ish girls are the main characters
5) Never copy off of the Western Animation storylines
6) No English dubbing, even if you hire professionals like Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill, Tress Macneille, Gilbert Gottfried, or Vic Mignogna
7) The story involves the character living their everyday lives
And finally
8) Pocky. You have to have lots of Pocky
So there you have it. The rules for making a perfect anime. Because everything else isn't worthy, even if they are better received.
And that does it for Double Trouble. If you think you're not in trouble, you may be in Double Trouble.
Source: Anime WP*Source of 2nd image*
Gear Diary
Kotaku
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Good News/Bad News: Server Warfare, and Memory Card woes
I think its time I introduce this. Because it's time for Good News/Bad News
First off, the Good news. The PC version of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 will not be delayed. That's according to a new report.
Earlier this month, we received a ton of tips pointing to various stories claiming the release date for the PC version of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 had been pushed back to November 24. Infinity Ward frontman Robert Bowling recently dispatched a 140-character missive that should soothe the souls of mouse-and-keyboard wielders everywhere: "No delay on PC for Modern Warfare 2," Mr. FourZeroTwo tweeted.
That means all you PC owners can start fragging 360 and PS3 owners while Wii owners are still stuck in the past.
Now the Bad News. It seems Modern Warfare 2 will not have any Dedicated servers what-so-ever.
Bowling, the Infinity Ward community manager, said IWNet makes multiplayer more accessible to the PC community on Modern Warfare 2, replacing the need for dedicated servers that are hosted and managed by players. But the hardcore PC crowd to whom he was talking, on BASHandSlash.com's webcast, did not take the news in a completely positive light.
That's not right Bowling. No dedicated servers and a matchmaking option to take its place? If I wanted to play online, I would want nothing but dedicated servers, even if I have to pay $15 a month to play online, or if I have to go to a private server, play for a while, then get banned after the head of that server was nothing more than a sore loser.
Infinite Ward, I'm gonna boycott the PC version while more and more people buy the 360/PS3 version, and then I'm gonna whine when I find out the 360/PS3 version sold.
But for now, more good news. The 360 is gonna get another update. The next update will feature a new preview program for Zune, Facebook and Twitter.
I am happy to announce that we’re doing an Xbox LIVE Update Preview program for upcoming features such as Zune, Facebook and Twitter. Much like we have done in the past, you’ll need to visit the Microsoft Connect site from this link and sign in with your Windows LIVE ID that is connected to your Xbox LIVE Gamertag.
Unfortunately, there are some strings attached. Which leads us to the bad news. With this update, Memory Units not authorized by Microsoft will no longer work on the 360.
When Preview Program members start receiving the Xbox 360 system update next week, one of the changes is that unauthorized Memory Units will no longer work with the Xbox 360. If you’ve moved your profile or saved games onto one to “back it up,” you’d better move it back onto an authorized Xbox 360 storage device prior to taking the update. If you continue to use an unauthorized Memory Unit after the update, you will not be able to access your stored profile or saved games.
That's problematic. It's obvious that Microsoft wants to force their sale of proprietary products down the throats of 360 owners, even though they continue to worship Microsoft like the next-gen PS2. They do remind me of someone, starts with an S and ends with a Y. And I recall they use proprietary software, hardware and accessories.
No doubt this will cause more and more to buy PS3s, unaware that they might start doing the same. And that's it from Good News/Bad News. Because when you think there's hope, think again.
Source: Joystiq(MW2 Link)
Kotaku(MW2 Link 1)
Major Nelson(X-Box link 1)
Major Nelson(X-Box link 2)(Originally found on Destructoid.com)
First off, the Good news. The PC version of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 will not be delayed. That's according to a new report.
Earlier this month, we received a ton of tips pointing to various stories claiming the release date for the PC version of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 had been pushed back to November 24. Infinity Ward frontman Robert Bowling recently dispatched a 140-character missive that should soothe the souls of mouse-and-keyboard wielders everywhere: "No delay on PC for Modern Warfare 2," Mr. FourZeroTwo tweeted.
That means all you PC owners can start fragging 360 and PS3 owners while Wii owners are still stuck in the past.
Now the Bad News. It seems Modern Warfare 2 will not have any Dedicated servers what-so-ever.
Bowling, the Infinity Ward community manager, said IWNet makes multiplayer more accessible to the PC community on Modern Warfare 2, replacing the need for dedicated servers that are hosted and managed by players. But the hardcore PC crowd to whom he was talking, on BASHandSlash.com's webcast, did not take the news in a completely positive light.
That's not right Bowling. No dedicated servers and a matchmaking option to take its place? If I wanted to play online, I would want nothing but dedicated servers, even if I have to pay $15 a month to play online, or if I have to go to a private server, play for a while, then get banned after the head of that server was nothing more than a sore loser.
Infinite Ward, I'm gonna boycott the PC version while more and more people buy the 360/PS3 version, and then I'm gonna whine when I find out the 360/PS3 version sold.
But for now, more good news. The 360 is gonna get another update. The next update will feature a new preview program for Zune, Facebook and Twitter.
I am happy to announce that we’re doing an Xbox LIVE Update Preview program for upcoming features such as Zune, Facebook and Twitter. Much like we have done in the past, you’ll need to visit the Microsoft Connect site from this link and sign in with your Windows LIVE ID that is connected to your Xbox LIVE Gamertag.
Unfortunately, there are some strings attached. Which leads us to the bad news. With this update, Memory Units not authorized by Microsoft will no longer work on the 360.
When Preview Program members start receiving the Xbox 360 system update next week, one of the changes is that unauthorized Memory Units will no longer work with the Xbox 360. If you’ve moved your profile or saved games onto one to “back it up,” you’d better move it back onto an authorized Xbox 360 storage device prior to taking the update. If you continue to use an unauthorized Memory Unit after the update, you will not be able to access your stored profile or saved games.
That's problematic. It's obvious that Microsoft wants to force their sale of proprietary products down the throats of 360 owners, even though they continue to worship Microsoft like the next-gen PS2. They do remind me of someone, starts with an S and ends with a Y. And I recall they use proprietary software, hardware and accessories.
No doubt this will cause more and more to buy PS3s, unaware that they might start doing the same. And that's it from Good News/Bad News. Because when you think there's hope, think again.
Source: Joystiq(MW2 Link)
Kotaku(MW2 Link 1)
Major Nelson(X-Box link 1)
Major Nelson(X-Box link 2)(Originally found on Destructoid.com)
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Miyamoto aiming for User Generated Content, Malstrom wants him to retire over it
Gaming community, I have been a Mario fan since the NES era. Every traditional Mario game, from Super Mario Bros to Super Mario Galaxy, has been exceptional. But when I heard Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of the Mario series, say the following about User Generated Content, my heart broke.
"This is an area that I have a lot of interest in, and I think that the side-scrolling Mario games in particular are well suited to that idea,"
No Miyamoto. What are you doing? The Mario series is a sacred tradition, like watching Glenn Beck every night. You don't give US the tools to make a Mario game. What else, you think that's gonna be the future of gaming?
"And I think those types of interactive experiences are going to continue to broaden and we'll see a lot more user-generated content going forward. I've always had an interest in those kinds of creative tools, so I will definitely be open to ideas like that in the future."
Of course, this was met with opposition, and not just from your local conservative nutcase gamer. But also from professional analyst Sean Malstrom, who calls Miyamoto a liability and thinks he should retire, because of this.
And people wonder why I don’t stop harping on ‘User Generated Content’. Nintendo never abandoned it.
There has been no success stories of User Generated Content in any form on any medium. Any “success” is something that is given away free and has users but not customers such as Wikipedia or Youtube (and Youtube still loses money!).
Just look at all those people rushing to buy PS3s for LittleBigPlanet for its ‘user generated content’. Despite its massive hype, the game never struck any lightning. It is liked more as a 2d platformer (which there is demand for) than anything with ‘user generated content’.
Exactly. User Generated Content has, and will never be accepted by the gaming community at all. I mean look at DooM, look at Quake and Unreal. Look at the Warcraft series. It was going strong and all, then non-gamers came in and ruined it because they can create their own content for it. Even the old Sims game was ruined by User Generated Content according to now disbarred and neglected attorney, Jack Thompson, back in 2005. And then there was RPG Maker.
Oh and I strongly agree with Little Big Planet. That game wasn't hot with gamers, even though almost 2.5 million Liberal PS3 owners from around the globe bought it. What do 2.5 million gamers have to do with this when they can buy more generic shooters and RPGs for their PS3s. But what does that have to do with Mario? Well Sean, take it away.
"But it is time for Miyamoto to retire. I remember his interview in Nintendo Power about the creation of Super Mario Brothers 3. He said the game was about further exploration of the Mushroom Kingdom. And when you think back on that game, you do not think of SMB 3 as about flying or about the map screen. Everyone thinks about the fleshed out content of the worlds, of how different everything seemed from stage to stage, and how the game (of old 2d Mario in general) to absorb you into a fantastical world."
"But now we are going to get ‘User Generated Content’ Mario which would ultimately destroy Mario."
That's right. The Mario series was built on expanding a universe and Miyamoto will destroy it by letting us, the people, design the game. To Sonic fans out there who claim SEGA Destroyed Sonic, you're wrong. Dead wrong. You see, the Sonic series is far from being destroyed. Sure you may have had a gun-totting Hedgehog, a Hedgehog kissing a human, A Hedgehog turning into a Werehog, a Hedgehog teaming up with a plumber in the Olympics, a Hedgehog and a Snake in Smash Bros, and a Hedgehog voiced by Steve Urkel. But to truly destroy Sonic, you have to give the user the ability to create their own levels and stages.
People stand up against User Generated Content, because once it takes over, you may become addicted to it, and destroy the cash cow of a gaming franchise it is.
Works Cited: Joystiq
VGChartz
"This is an area that I have a lot of interest in, and I think that the side-scrolling Mario games in particular are well suited to that idea,"
No Miyamoto. What are you doing? The Mario series is a sacred tradition, like watching Glenn Beck every night. You don't give US the tools to make a Mario game. What else, you think that's gonna be the future of gaming?
"And I think those types of interactive experiences are going to continue to broaden and we'll see a lot more user-generated content going forward. I've always had an interest in those kinds of creative tools, so I will definitely be open to ideas like that in the future."
Of course, this was met with opposition, and not just from your local conservative nutcase gamer. But also from professional analyst Sean Malstrom, who calls Miyamoto a liability and thinks he should retire, because of this.
And people wonder why I don’t stop harping on ‘User Generated Content’. Nintendo never abandoned it.
There has been no success stories of User Generated Content in any form on any medium. Any “success” is something that is given away free and has users but not customers such as Wikipedia or Youtube (and Youtube still loses money!).
Just look at all those people rushing to buy PS3s for LittleBigPlanet for its ‘user generated content’. Despite its massive hype, the game never struck any lightning. It is liked more as a 2d platformer (which there is demand for) than anything with ‘user generated content’.
Exactly. User Generated Content has, and will never be accepted by the gaming community at all. I mean look at DooM, look at Quake and Unreal. Look at the Warcraft series. It was going strong and all, then non-gamers came in and ruined it because they can create their own content for it. Even the old Sims game was ruined by User Generated Content according to now disbarred and neglected attorney, Jack Thompson, back in 2005. And then there was RPG Maker.
Oh and I strongly agree with Little Big Planet. That game wasn't hot with gamers, even though almost 2.5 million Liberal PS3 owners from around the globe bought it. What do 2.5 million gamers have to do with this when they can buy more generic shooters and RPGs for their PS3s. But what does that have to do with Mario? Well Sean, take it away.
"But it is time for Miyamoto to retire. I remember his interview in Nintendo Power about the creation of Super Mario Brothers 3. He said the game was about further exploration of the Mushroom Kingdom. And when you think back on that game, you do not think of SMB 3 as about flying or about the map screen. Everyone thinks about the fleshed out content of the worlds, of how different everything seemed from stage to stage, and how the game (of old 2d Mario in general) to absorb you into a fantastical world."
"But now we are going to get ‘User Generated Content’ Mario which would ultimately destroy Mario."
That's right. The Mario series was built on expanding a universe and Miyamoto will destroy it by letting us, the people, design the game. To Sonic fans out there who claim SEGA Destroyed Sonic, you're wrong. Dead wrong. You see, the Sonic series is far from being destroyed. Sure you may have had a gun-totting Hedgehog, a Hedgehog kissing a human, A Hedgehog turning into a Werehog, a Hedgehog teaming up with a plumber in the Olympics, a Hedgehog and a Snake in Smash Bros, and a Hedgehog voiced by Steve Urkel. But to truly destroy Sonic, you have to give the user the ability to create their own levels and stages.
People stand up against User Generated Content, because once it takes over, you may become addicted to it, and destroy the cash cow of a gaming franchise it is.
Works Cited: Joystiq
VGChartz
Friday, October 16, 2009
2000-2009: A Decade of gaming in Review
Folks, the 1990s were a great time to be a gamer, regardless if it was SNES, Genesis, N64, Playstation, Saturn, Game Boy, Game Gear, PC, Neo Geo, Atari Jaguar, 3DO, Dreamcast. I mean, why can't we take Glenn Beck's advise and return to a simpler time, back when we didn't know if a game was good or shovelware? Or a time where voice acting in CD-based games would make my ears bleed.
But alas, it's been a rough decade for gaming, regardless who was ahead. How was it rough? Why was it rough? I'll tell you why in my Decade of gaming in Review
1) The Playstation 2: Sony got something right with the Playstation 1: Games that were made with a Japanese audience in mind, which is what the SNES was based around. Unfortunately, when the PS2 came around, they started to appeal to newer audiences. NEWER AUDIENCES! I felt like I was betrayed when people slurped up Grand Theft Auto, Madden, Kingdom Hearts, Katamari Damacy, Splinter Cell, Max Payne, Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank, Devil May Cry.
Whatever happened to appealing to the Weeaboo audience? I mean real games like C: The Contra Adventure, Mortal Kombat: Special Forces, Spawn the Eternal, The Fifth Element, and Super Bubble Pop. Now those are games.
Of course, this leads to number 2
2) SEGA going 3rd party: SEGA, what happened? I enjoyed your SEGA CD and 32X. Sure they were worthless overall, but I didn't care. They were better ideas than the Saturn or Dreamcast. You started out creating this unnecessary pieces of hardware that you could hook up to the Genesis that had a mediocre array of games. And now you fell and became a 3rd party developer. I was hoping you could create an adaptor to the Dreamcast that would make it rival the PS2.
That's not the only criticism SEGA gets from me
3) 3D Sonic games: No, I'm not talking about how messy the gameplay is. My real beef with 3D Sonic games: It teaches our kids that it is okay to run faster than cars. SEGA, you almost came close to shutting down the car industry with Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2. Sonic Heroes and Secret Rings continued that encouragement to run as fast as the speed of sound. Thankfully, Sonic Next-Gen finally brought the kids back to earth, but when Sonic Unleashed came out, I weeped because it returned to teaching kids to run faster and faster.
SEGA, I don't want to call you out on trying to destroy the auto industry, but if you keep this up, I may have no other choice
4) The Game Boy Advance: When I saw this system, my jaw dropped. A handheld that can mimic the 16-bit era of gaming, minus 2 buttons? And its games library was also no slouch, yet something about it wasn't right. 3 Castlevanias? 3 Sonic games? 4 Mario games? 2 Metroid Games? 3 Mega Man series? 2 of the best Street Fighter games? a Mario and Luigi RPG? Return of Final Fantasy(Which we'll get to it later)? More Pokemon than the GBC era? What were they thinking? Those huge amount of games kicked my wallet to the ground and smashed a table on it. CURSE YOU NINTENDO*Shakes fist*
5) Halo: Referred to as the darling of the X-Box era by many an X-Box fanboy, Halo started a revolution that would change the face of FPS on the consoles, not that Goldeneye or DooM did that. The problem was that this game made cursing at each other in an online game a sport(Back then, Halo 1 had no online, so it was a disappointment). But what was so great about Halo? There were more interesting games on the X-Box like Nightcaster, Blood Wake, Star Wars Obi-Wan, Azurick, and Bruce Lee. Ahh, the games that would make the X-Box suck it.(Source: Maddox's article: Seven Reasons why the Xbox can suck it)
Of course, my hands still hurt because of Microsoft's first controller for the old X-Box
6) Game compilations: Industry, packing in a ton of old games and releasing it on current generation systems is no way to win any respect. I'm taking about Sonic Mega Collection, Namco Museum, Mega Man Anniversary Collection, Midway Arcade Treasures 1-3, Taito Legends, Capcom Classics Collection, Activision Anthology, and Zelda Collector's Edition to name a few.
If I wanted to play these games, I would dig out my old systems, find the missing components, hope they work and play them the way they were meant to be. I don't want to relive my past with these newfangled collections.
7) Resident Evil Remake: Speaking of which, Capcom thought it was fine to recreate Resident Evil on the Gamecube. What happened to the blocky graphics? The bad voice acting? I WANT MY JILL SANDWICH DAMNIT!
8) Kingdom Hearts: The only game I believed was the best last gen was Final Fantasy X, a game starring a beach bum and his quest to save the world. I thought that redeemed SquareSoft, but then this came. A Disney game? AN ACTUAL DISNEY GAME THAT WAS GOOD? That's ridiculous. There was no such thing as a good Disney game, even if it was Rescue Rangers, Duck Tales, Magical Quest or Mickey Mania(OR Aladdin on the Genesis). That's as obscure as the RE Remake
9) Metroid Prime: From 2002 to 2007, I had to endure the ultimate abomination of the Metroid series. My beef? I couldn't see Samus when everything I saw was everything that Samus saw. If I wanted a First Person Shooter, I would play Goldeneye or something more obscure. Plus, you take one good look at those Metroids, and you'll be half-scared for weeks.
10) Zelda: Wind Waker: A Zelda game that makes me travel the seas on a boat? What were they thinking? And Cel-shaded graphics? I thought the Zelda series was suppose to be realistic like the first Zelda game.(Gets a call) What? You mean the first Zelda games were cartoonish? So, only Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask counts as real Zelda games.
11) Soul Calibur 2: The problem with these games wasn't the change to their controls with each new version. Oh no, the problem were console exclusives. The PS2 version had an old, balding Geriatric from Tekken. The XBox version had this ugly looking hero called...Spawn. The GCN version? It ripped Link out of Ocarina of Time. This game taught us that its okay to have more than one console on the market when one console is what we should aim for, regardless of how many monopoly laws that would violate.
12) SquareSoft: Nation, Square jumped the Shark when it merged with Enix, creator of Dragon Quest. The Shark Jumping went further when SquareEnix developed games for the GBA(Plus one for the GCN). 5 of the 6 old Final Fantasy games, a new Final Fantasy Advance game, a new Mana game that was a remake of the first, a Kingdom Hearts game. Personally, those games can't hold a candle to Final Fantasy VII, which featured a Mama's boy for a villain
13) Star Wars: This decade is the result of what happens when you overuse the Star Wars license. The big offenders include Battlefront, Jedi Outcast, Galactic Battlegrounds, LEGO Star Wars, Republic Commando and Empire at War. But the worst offender? Knights of the Old Republic. A Star Wars RPG with good story and gameplay? If I wanted to play an RPG, I'll play Persona thank you very much.
14) The DS: When I saw this system, my jaw dropped. It wasn't the 2 screens or that the 2nd screen is touch based. The fact was: The system was made for casuals. That's right, the same people who ruined the PS2 wanted a piece of the handheld pie. The end result? It sells a 100 million units, but at the same time destroys whats left of Nintendo's Handheld dignity by appealing to more than the hardcore.
15) Metal Gear: If there was one PS1 game I opposed, it was the original Metal Gear Solid. But Konami, Silicon Knights and Nintendo decided to reopen that wound with Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes on Gamecube. To make matters worse, Konami released Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater on PS2. It's bad enough I had bad memories of Metal Gear on PS1. That last thing I need is Kojima's Snake Venom in my systems
16) Steam: With the release of Half-Life 2 came Steam, a revolutionary new way to buy games by simply downloading them to your hard drive. Unfortunately, it spawned many copycats(Including WiiWare, XBLA, and PSN) creating a nightmare that could be the bane of retail. If I wanted to buy a game, I drive over to my nearest retail store and buy it from there. If they didn't have it, then I had to play the waiting game. What's so wrong with being patience?
17) World of Warcraft: In a desperate plead to be number one, Blizzard took one of its IPs and created World of Warcraft: A Massive Multiplayer Online game with 11 million suckers and growing. This kind of game took kids away from the Playstation and onto this magnet. The worst part? 2 expansion packs released and 3rd is on its way. And the biggest confessions? I'm one of those suckers.
18) The Playstation Portable: In an effort to combat Nintendo in the handheld market, Sony released the Playstation Portable or PSP for short. Everything about this system screamed Ipod, plus the fact that they use a new Disc format: Universal Media Discs. Why this handheld didn't sell as well is beyond me. It had the games, it forced you to buy the movies. The PSP Go was a step up, but we'll talk about that later
19) The Hot Coffee scandal: Back in July of 2005, Rockstar was under fire for a secret that only professional hackers could uncover a minigame involving your main and a girl. I was outraged by this, but only because the girl model looked horrible. It was an insult to women everywhere, and that was why Hillary Clinton lashed out at that scandal.
20) The X-Box 360: Released in 2005, the 360 was well known for one thing: Red Ring of Death. You turn on a game, you play it, BAM! RROD! Now apply this to real life situations. A bus comes by, you get on, the bus takes off, BAM! RROD! You open a book, with the intention of reading Chapter 5, BAM! RROD! You and a friend want to play Super Soaker. You fill your soaker, charge it up, and when you press the trigger, BAM! RROD!
See, the RROD is bigger than you may think.
21) Resident Evil 4: Now this is an abomination. 3rd person gameplay? A different story? Items easier to get? What were they thinking? I liked it from a 2nd person perspective, where the controls are awkward. I don't want percised aiming in my Resident Evil. Not even in Resident Evil 5.
I just hope Resident Evil 6 returns back to the stale gameplay of RE 1-3 and Code Veronica
22) The failure of the Gamecube: Perhaps the darling of last generation, the Gamecube came up short. What happened? It had the games like the PS2 and X-Box and it was cheaper. So why didn't people pick it up? Many responded that it was because GCN was kiddie. But that's what made it great. I wanted that cheesiness that the PS2 not the X-Box didn't have. Unfortunately, this leads to our next event
23) The Wii: If the PS2 was an abomination, the Wii was the spawn of Satan as it reintroduced Motion Controls to the console world. The reason why I hated this was because it introduces a new wave of gamers into the fray. Now old people can play video games? I don't want old people to play video games. Heck, gaming was fine before even the PS2. But that's not the only thing I'm miffed about it
24) Virtual Console: Believe it or not, the Wii also comes with a Virtual Console service that lets you download classic games from the NES, SNES, and N64. But Nintendo took it a step further and allowed players to download SEGA Genesis, Master System, Turbo Grafix, Neo Geo, Commodore and Arcade titles. Didn't anyone read my post on Game Compilations? No? Well no wonder we have this and the fact that other services are also re-releasing old games. Old games are to remain on old systems where kids will forget them, not bastardized on new systems while maintaining everything that was originally there
25) The Playstation 3: It was the perfect system. The price point, the Blu-Ray, the Cell processor, the games. So why did the PS3 take last place? This system is suppose to introduce to us the future of gaming. Instead, it gets tossed in a dumpster while the 360 and Wii hog the spotlight.
26) The Angry Video Game Nerd: From the mind of James Rolfe comes the Angry Video Game Nerd, who reviews old games and tears them apart. Now not that I wouldn't mind, except I liked every one of those games. They were character building as they taught us how to endure frustration no matter how bad the control or the graphics were. Nerd, you have been condemned for violating a sacred place in my childhood, even if they were bad.
27) New Super Mario Bros: If I wanted a 2D Mario game, I would plug in Super Mario Bros 1-4(4 being World) or one of the Game boy Mario games. What was Nintendo thinking with this? I don't need a new 2D Mario game to remind me how good the 2D Mario games are. And they're doing a Wii version with the 7 Koopalings? I like the Koopalings as much as the last guy, but please. Them and Bowser Jr are overused.
28) Zelda: Twilight Princess: I say this with honor, but there hasn't been a good Zelda game since Ocarina of Time. Majora's Mask was a collect-a-thon and Wind Waker had you traveling the seas. Twilight Princess is an obvious remake of Ocarina of Time, minus kid Link, the Ocarina, and a good layout of the areas involved. The worst of it was that this game also came out on Wii and sold more than 4 million across both systems. CURSE YOU NINTENDO*Shakes fist*
29) Devil May Cry on the 360: Continuing my PS3 rant, Capcom decided to port Devil May Cry 4 to the 360. That alone made me NOT want to buy it even though it was still on the PS3. It deserved to be a PS3 exclusive so the PS3 can come out ahead and prove that expensive systems are the future of gaming. And I won't rest until that is a proven fact.
30) Bioshock: When I think FPS, I usually think battling an epic army with epic multiplayer. Bioshock violated both of those with a Single player-focused game inside Rapture. I don't want a FPS where I go inside an aquatic city to weed out its ruler. I want a game that has me battling an army of aliens who want to eat my brains out. And I demand Multiplayer damnit.
31) Super Mario Galaxy: Actually, this was a worse idea than New Super Mario Bros Wii. Why? The fact that one can travel on small planets and that it teaches us that it's a Small Universe after all. The sad thing about this is that its getting a sequel. Whoopie. What's next, Wario with the keen ability to fart?
32) Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games: I thought Wii Sports was bad enough. But when Nintendo and SEGA collaborated on Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, the end result was 8 million+ suckers who took 16 characters from both universes and sent them clashing for Olympic gold. 2 years later, the Winter games released on both Wii and DS, with the DS version having an adventure mode. Of course, that was the tip of the iceberg of Nintendo and SEGA since we also have
33) Smash Bros Brawl: That's right. If you liked Smash Bros Melee, you're gonna hate this game. 35 charaters, 2 of which aren't Nintendo's property, Online gameplay, more items, more stages, a Subspace Emissary mode, and more trophies and stickers to get. Real Smash Bros gamers prefer to play as Fox and spam his down B ability, but even that got nerfed.
34) Soul Calibur 4: As if Soul Calibur 2 was bad enough, this took the SC2 idea and used nothing but Star Wars characters for the guest: Yoda, Darth Vader, and Zinedine Zidane. Plus they let you create your own characters and pit them online. The last thing I need is to dual someone that looks like a familar white-haired Mama's Boy.
35) Final Fantasy XIII announcement for the 360: The game hasn't been out yet, but after a recent announcement that Final Fantasy XIII would be on the 360 in addition to the PS3, I went nuts. I was one of those who cried crocodile tears over this *Fake Crying* And that isn't fair. How dare anyone backstab Sony in the back. They provided 3rd parties with a safety net and freedom to develop more games. LEAVE SONY ALONE!
36) The Wii Fit: Perhaps, another nail in the coffin for gaming was the success of Wii Fit, which includes a balance board and a set of mini-games that takes advantage of this. This requires the player to stand up and be more active than the Wiimote alone. And what worries me is that it will reduce my belly fat. I'm proud of this belly fat thank you very much
37) The DSi: In an effort to combat the iPod, Nintendo has created the DSi. Gone is the GBA slot, but that's not my concern. What they added was a WiiWare service to this new incarnation of the DS that includes software that are free. FREE. Like FlipNote Studio that lets me draw, doodle, sketch and even take notes. Since when do Video Games lets you do that? I don't see Mario Paint do that
38) The PSP Go: It's everything the PSP is suppose to be: Less battery life, no UMDs, downloadables only, a more mudane setting up than the iPhone and much more. What's this? You have this size of a game collection? Too bad, go rebuy your games you bums.
39) Motion Controls X3: Early this year, Nintendo released the Wii Motion plus, allowing 1:1 Motion Controls. Great, that means more waggle and my arm getting more tired. As if that wasn't the biggest insult, Microsoft and Sony have announced their own Motion controls: The 360 with the Natal Camera and the PS3 with the Wand. Let's just hope there aren't any Motion Controls for the PC or we are in big trouble.
40) Street Fighter IV And Tatsunoko vs Capcom: Let's face it. Smash Bros wasn't a real fighting game. These however, are much less. Street Fighter IV returns Street Fighter to its roots while expanding on the graphics, when Street Fighter III was more than perfect. Tatsunoko vs Capcom took Marvel vs Capcom, swapped Marvel for Tatsunoko(Makers of Gatchaman, Yatterman, Ippasuman and Tekkaman) and used more obscure Capcom characters(Ex: Viewtiful Joe, Frank West, Morrigan, Zero, Roll, and PTX-40A). This isn't Marvel vs Capcom 2 because that had mostly Street Fighter characters for fighters. And it will never be as good because my fanboyism says so
41) Project Needlemouse: When I heard about this, I was shocked. A new 2D Sonic game that continues to teach kids that's it okay to run fast? The problem is that hedgehog obviously drank too much coffee and ate too much sugar. Sooner or later, kids will do what he does and that will lead to problems. Parents, just say no to Project Needlemouse and get your kids another Spongebob game
42) Batman: Arkham Asylum: What's this? A good Batman game? That's obscene like Kingdom Hearts. And what else? Kevin Conroy as Batman and Mark Hamill as the Joker? It's like my childhood is coming back to haunt me. And what a scary childhood it was to see Batman in action.
43) Epic Mickey: And to top it off, a game that makes Kingdom Hearts look like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Epic Mickey. A game where Mickey must battle against the Phantom Blot and his evil twin brother: Oswald. Wait, you're telling me Oswald is a rabbit? He looks like a mouse to me.
So there you go. From 2000 to 2009, gaming went down the drain all while raking in big bucks off of us poor fools. Here's hoping the next decade in gaming is a much better one. Nah, who am I kidding? I'd say we go back to simpler times even if they were cheesy.
But alas, it's been a rough decade for gaming, regardless who was ahead. How was it rough? Why was it rough? I'll tell you why in my Decade of gaming in Review
1) The Playstation 2: Sony got something right with the Playstation 1: Games that were made with a Japanese audience in mind, which is what the SNES was based around. Unfortunately, when the PS2 came around, they started to appeal to newer audiences. NEWER AUDIENCES! I felt like I was betrayed when people slurped up Grand Theft Auto, Madden, Kingdom Hearts, Katamari Damacy, Splinter Cell, Max Payne, Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank, Devil May Cry.
Whatever happened to appealing to the Weeaboo audience? I mean real games like C: The Contra Adventure, Mortal Kombat: Special Forces, Spawn the Eternal, The Fifth Element, and Super Bubble Pop. Now those are games.
Of course, this leads to number 2
2) SEGA going 3rd party: SEGA, what happened? I enjoyed your SEGA CD and 32X. Sure they were worthless overall, but I didn't care. They were better ideas than the Saturn or Dreamcast. You started out creating this unnecessary pieces of hardware that you could hook up to the Genesis that had a mediocre array of games. And now you fell and became a 3rd party developer. I was hoping you could create an adaptor to the Dreamcast that would make it rival the PS2.
That's not the only criticism SEGA gets from me
3) 3D Sonic games: No, I'm not talking about how messy the gameplay is. My real beef with 3D Sonic games: It teaches our kids that it is okay to run faster than cars. SEGA, you almost came close to shutting down the car industry with Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2. Sonic Heroes and Secret Rings continued that encouragement to run as fast as the speed of sound. Thankfully, Sonic Next-Gen finally brought the kids back to earth, but when Sonic Unleashed came out, I weeped because it returned to teaching kids to run faster and faster.
SEGA, I don't want to call you out on trying to destroy the auto industry, but if you keep this up, I may have no other choice
4) The Game Boy Advance: When I saw this system, my jaw dropped. A handheld that can mimic the 16-bit era of gaming, minus 2 buttons? And its games library was also no slouch, yet something about it wasn't right. 3 Castlevanias? 3 Sonic games? 4 Mario games? 2 Metroid Games? 3 Mega Man series? 2 of the best Street Fighter games? a Mario and Luigi RPG? Return of Final Fantasy(Which we'll get to it later)? More Pokemon than the GBC era? What were they thinking? Those huge amount of games kicked my wallet to the ground and smashed a table on it. CURSE YOU NINTENDO*Shakes fist*
5) Halo: Referred to as the darling of the X-Box era by many an X-Box fanboy, Halo started a revolution that would change the face of FPS on the consoles, not that Goldeneye or DooM did that. The problem was that this game made cursing at each other in an online game a sport(Back then, Halo 1 had no online, so it was a disappointment). But what was so great about Halo? There were more interesting games on the X-Box like Nightcaster, Blood Wake, Star Wars Obi-Wan, Azurick, and Bruce Lee. Ahh, the games that would make the X-Box suck it.(Source: Maddox's article: Seven Reasons why the Xbox can suck it)
Of course, my hands still hurt because of Microsoft's first controller for the old X-Box
6) Game compilations: Industry, packing in a ton of old games and releasing it on current generation systems is no way to win any respect. I'm taking about Sonic Mega Collection, Namco Museum, Mega Man Anniversary Collection, Midway Arcade Treasures 1-3, Taito Legends, Capcom Classics Collection, Activision Anthology, and Zelda Collector's Edition to name a few.
If I wanted to play these games, I would dig out my old systems, find the missing components, hope they work and play them the way they were meant to be. I don't want to relive my past with these newfangled collections.
7) Resident Evil Remake: Speaking of which, Capcom thought it was fine to recreate Resident Evil on the Gamecube. What happened to the blocky graphics? The bad voice acting? I WANT MY JILL SANDWICH DAMNIT!
8) Kingdom Hearts: The only game I believed was the best last gen was Final Fantasy X, a game starring a beach bum and his quest to save the world. I thought that redeemed SquareSoft, but then this came. A Disney game? AN ACTUAL DISNEY GAME THAT WAS GOOD? That's ridiculous. There was no such thing as a good Disney game, even if it was Rescue Rangers, Duck Tales, Magical Quest or Mickey Mania(OR Aladdin on the Genesis). That's as obscure as the RE Remake
9) Metroid Prime: From 2002 to 2007, I had to endure the ultimate abomination of the Metroid series. My beef? I couldn't see Samus when everything I saw was everything that Samus saw. If I wanted a First Person Shooter, I would play Goldeneye or something more obscure. Plus, you take one good look at those Metroids, and you'll be half-scared for weeks.
10) Zelda: Wind Waker: A Zelda game that makes me travel the seas on a boat? What were they thinking? And Cel-shaded graphics? I thought the Zelda series was suppose to be realistic like the first Zelda game.(Gets a call) What? You mean the first Zelda games were cartoonish? So, only Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask counts as real Zelda games.
11) Soul Calibur 2: The problem with these games wasn't the change to their controls with each new version. Oh no, the problem were console exclusives. The PS2 version had an old, balding Geriatric from Tekken. The XBox version had this ugly looking hero called...Spawn. The GCN version? It ripped Link out of Ocarina of Time. This game taught us that its okay to have more than one console on the market when one console is what we should aim for, regardless of how many monopoly laws that would violate.
12) SquareSoft: Nation, Square jumped the Shark when it merged with Enix, creator of Dragon Quest. The Shark Jumping went further when SquareEnix developed games for the GBA(Plus one for the GCN). 5 of the 6 old Final Fantasy games, a new Final Fantasy Advance game, a new Mana game that was a remake of the first, a Kingdom Hearts game. Personally, those games can't hold a candle to Final Fantasy VII, which featured a Mama's boy for a villain
13) Star Wars: This decade is the result of what happens when you overuse the Star Wars license. The big offenders include Battlefront, Jedi Outcast, Galactic Battlegrounds, LEGO Star Wars, Republic Commando and Empire at War. But the worst offender? Knights of the Old Republic. A Star Wars RPG with good story and gameplay? If I wanted to play an RPG, I'll play Persona thank you very much.
14) The DS: When I saw this system, my jaw dropped. It wasn't the 2 screens or that the 2nd screen is touch based. The fact was: The system was made for casuals. That's right, the same people who ruined the PS2 wanted a piece of the handheld pie. The end result? It sells a 100 million units, but at the same time destroys whats left of Nintendo's Handheld dignity by appealing to more than the hardcore.
15) Metal Gear: If there was one PS1 game I opposed, it was the original Metal Gear Solid. But Konami, Silicon Knights and Nintendo decided to reopen that wound with Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes on Gamecube. To make matters worse, Konami released Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater on PS2. It's bad enough I had bad memories of Metal Gear on PS1. That last thing I need is Kojima's Snake Venom in my systems
16) Steam: With the release of Half-Life 2 came Steam, a revolutionary new way to buy games by simply downloading them to your hard drive. Unfortunately, it spawned many copycats(Including WiiWare, XBLA, and PSN) creating a nightmare that could be the bane of retail. If I wanted to buy a game, I drive over to my nearest retail store and buy it from there. If they didn't have it, then I had to play the waiting game. What's so wrong with being patience?
17) World of Warcraft: In a desperate plead to be number one, Blizzard took one of its IPs and created World of Warcraft: A Massive Multiplayer Online game with 11 million suckers and growing. This kind of game took kids away from the Playstation and onto this magnet. The worst part? 2 expansion packs released and 3rd is on its way. And the biggest confessions? I'm one of those suckers.
18) The Playstation Portable: In an effort to combat Nintendo in the handheld market, Sony released the Playstation Portable or PSP for short. Everything about this system screamed Ipod, plus the fact that they use a new Disc format: Universal Media Discs. Why this handheld didn't sell as well is beyond me. It had the games, it forced you to buy the movies. The PSP Go was a step up, but we'll talk about that later
19) The Hot Coffee scandal: Back in July of 2005, Rockstar was under fire for a secret that only professional hackers could uncover a minigame involving your main and a girl. I was outraged by this, but only because the girl model looked horrible. It was an insult to women everywhere, and that was why Hillary Clinton lashed out at that scandal.
20) The X-Box 360: Released in 2005, the 360 was well known for one thing: Red Ring of Death. You turn on a game, you play it, BAM! RROD! Now apply this to real life situations. A bus comes by, you get on, the bus takes off, BAM! RROD! You open a book, with the intention of reading Chapter 5, BAM! RROD! You and a friend want to play Super Soaker. You fill your soaker, charge it up, and when you press the trigger, BAM! RROD!
See, the RROD is bigger than you may think.
21) Resident Evil 4: Now this is an abomination. 3rd person gameplay? A different story? Items easier to get? What were they thinking? I liked it from a 2nd person perspective, where the controls are awkward. I don't want percised aiming in my Resident Evil. Not even in Resident Evil 5.
I just hope Resident Evil 6 returns back to the stale gameplay of RE 1-3 and Code Veronica
22) The failure of the Gamecube: Perhaps the darling of last generation, the Gamecube came up short. What happened? It had the games like the PS2 and X-Box and it was cheaper. So why didn't people pick it up? Many responded that it was because GCN was kiddie. But that's what made it great. I wanted that cheesiness that the PS2 not the X-Box didn't have. Unfortunately, this leads to our next event
23) The Wii: If the PS2 was an abomination, the Wii was the spawn of Satan as it reintroduced Motion Controls to the console world. The reason why I hated this was because it introduces a new wave of gamers into the fray. Now old people can play video games? I don't want old people to play video games. Heck, gaming was fine before even the PS2. But that's not the only thing I'm miffed about it
24) Virtual Console: Believe it or not, the Wii also comes with a Virtual Console service that lets you download classic games from the NES, SNES, and N64. But Nintendo took it a step further and allowed players to download SEGA Genesis, Master System, Turbo Grafix, Neo Geo, Commodore and Arcade titles. Didn't anyone read my post on Game Compilations? No? Well no wonder we have this and the fact that other services are also re-releasing old games. Old games are to remain on old systems where kids will forget them, not bastardized on new systems while maintaining everything that was originally there
25) The Playstation 3: It was the perfect system. The price point, the Blu-Ray, the Cell processor, the games. So why did the PS3 take last place? This system is suppose to introduce to us the future of gaming. Instead, it gets tossed in a dumpster while the 360 and Wii hog the spotlight.
26) The Angry Video Game Nerd: From the mind of James Rolfe comes the Angry Video Game Nerd, who reviews old games and tears them apart. Now not that I wouldn't mind, except I liked every one of those games. They were character building as they taught us how to endure frustration no matter how bad the control or the graphics were. Nerd, you have been condemned for violating a sacred place in my childhood, even if they were bad.
27) New Super Mario Bros: If I wanted a 2D Mario game, I would plug in Super Mario Bros 1-4(4 being World) or one of the Game boy Mario games. What was Nintendo thinking with this? I don't need a new 2D Mario game to remind me how good the 2D Mario games are. And they're doing a Wii version with the 7 Koopalings? I like the Koopalings as much as the last guy, but please. Them and Bowser Jr are overused.
28) Zelda: Twilight Princess: I say this with honor, but there hasn't been a good Zelda game since Ocarina of Time. Majora's Mask was a collect-a-thon and Wind Waker had you traveling the seas. Twilight Princess is an obvious remake of Ocarina of Time, minus kid Link, the Ocarina, and a good layout of the areas involved. The worst of it was that this game also came out on Wii and sold more than 4 million across both systems. CURSE YOU NINTENDO*Shakes fist*
29) Devil May Cry on the 360: Continuing my PS3 rant, Capcom decided to port Devil May Cry 4 to the 360. That alone made me NOT want to buy it even though it was still on the PS3. It deserved to be a PS3 exclusive so the PS3 can come out ahead and prove that expensive systems are the future of gaming. And I won't rest until that is a proven fact.
30) Bioshock: When I think FPS, I usually think battling an epic army with epic multiplayer. Bioshock violated both of those with a Single player-focused game inside Rapture. I don't want a FPS where I go inside an aquatic city to weed out its ruler. I want a game that has me battling an army of aliens who want to eat my brains out. And I demand Multiplayer damnit.
31) Super Mario Galaxy: Actually, this was a worse idea than New Super Mario Bros Wii. Why? The fact that one can travel on small planets and that it teaches us that it's a Small Universe after all. The sad thing about this is that its getting a sequel. Whoopie. What's next, Wario with the keen ability to fart?
32) Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games: I thought Wii Sports was bad enough. But when Nintendo and SEGA collaborated on Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, the end result was 8 million+ suckers who took 16 characters from both universes and sent them clashing for Olympic gold. 2 years later, the Winter games released on both Wii and DS, with the DS version having an adventure mode. Of course, that was the tip of the iceberg of Nintendo and SEGA since we also have
33) Smash Bros Brawl: That's right. If you liked Smash Bros Melee, you're gonna hate this game. 35 charaters, 2 of which aren't Nintendo's property, Online gameplay, more items, more stages, a Subspace Emissary mode, and more trophies and stickers to get. Real Smash Bros gamers prefer to play as Fox and spam his down B ability, but even that got nerfed.
34) Soul Calibur 4: As if Soul Calibur 2 was bad enough, this took the SC2 idea and used nothing but Star Wars characters for the guest: Yoda, Darth Vader, and Zinedine Zidane. Plus they let you create your own characters and pit them online. The last thing I need is to dual someone that looks like a familar white-haired Mama's Boy.
35) Final Fantasy XIII announcement for the 360: The game hasn't been out yet, but after a recent announcement that Final Fantasy XIII would be on the 360 in addition to the PS3, I went nuts. I was one of those who cried crocodile tears over this *Fake Crying* And that isn't fair. How dare anyone backstab Sony in the back. They provided 3rd parties with a safety net and freedom to develop more games. LEAVE SONY ALONE!
36) The Wii Fit: Perhaps, another nail in the coffin for gaming was the success of Wii Fit, which includes a balance board and a set of mini-games that takes advantage of this. This requires the player to stand up and be more active than the Wiimote alone. And what worries me is that it will reduce my belly fat. I'm proud of this belly fat thank you very much
37) The DSi: In an effort to combat the iPod, Nintendo has created the DSi. Gone is the GBA slot, but that's not my concern. What they added was a WiiWare service to this new incarnation of the DS that includes software that are free. FREE. Like FlipNote Studio that lets me draw, doodle, sketch and even take notes. Since when do Video Games lets you do that? I don't see Mario Paint do that
38) The PSP Go: It's everything the PSP is suppose to be: Less battery life, no UMDs, downloadables only, a more mudane setting up than the iPhone and much more. What's this? You have this size of a game collection? Too bad, go rebuy your games you bums.
39) Motion Controls X3: Early this year, Nintendo released the Wii Motion plus, allowing 1:1 Motion Controls. Great, that means more waggle and my arm getting more tired. As if that wasn't the biggest insult, Microsoft and Sony have announced their own Motion controls: The 360 with the Natal Camera and the PS3 with the Wand. Let's just hope there aren't any Motion Controls for the PC or we are in big trouble.
40) Street Fighter IV And Tatsunoko vs Capcom: Let's face it. Smash Bros wasn't a real fighting game. These however, are much less. Street Fighter IV returns Street Fighter to its roots while expanding on the graphics, when Street Fighter III was more than perfect. Tatsunoko vs Capcom took Marvel vs Capcom, swapped Marvel for Tatsunoko(Makers of Gatchaman, Yatterman, Ippasuman and Tekkaman) and used more obscure Capcom characters(Ex: Viewtiful Joe, Frank West, Morrigan, Zero, Roll, and PTX-40A). This isn't Marvel vs Capcom 2 because that had mostly Street Fighter characters for fighters. And it will never be as good because my fanboyism says so
41) Project Needlemouse: When I heard about this, I was shocked. A new 2D Sonic game that continues to teach kids that's it okay to run fast? The problem is that hedgehog obviously drank too much coffee and ate too much sugar. Sooner or later, kids will do what he does and that will lead to problems. Parents, just say no to Project Needlemouse and get your kids another Spongebob game
42) Batman: Arkham Asylum: What's this? A good Batman game? That's obscene like Kingdom Hearts. And what else? Kevin Conroy as Batman and Mark Hamill as the Joker? It's like my childhood is coming back to haunt me. And what a scary childhood it was to see Batman in action.
43) Epic Mickey: And to top it off, a game that makes Kingdom Hearts look like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Epic Mickey. A game where Mickey must battle against the Phantom Blot and his evil twin brother: Oswald. Wait, you're telling me Oswald is a rabbit? He looks like a mouse to me.
So there you go. From 2000 to 2009, gaming went down the drain all while raking in big bucks off of us poor fools. Here's hoping the next decade in gaming is a much better one. Nah, who am I kidding? I'd say we go back to simpler times even if they were cheesy.
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