Zzzz wha?

Wait. E3 is over already? And we didn't get a chance to cover the Sony panel?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

But anyway, for those of you who did look at E3 are aware of what Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft had to offer. Many sites claim that E3 belonged to Nintendo due to their Wii game lineup and the upcoming 3DS. But one magazine claimed that Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft are completely out of touch with their fanbase, compared to Apple, who had NO showing at E3 this year

Microsoft's presentation on Monday set the tone for the week: There's a new Halo game coming out, but this time with space battles. The entire presentation reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Malibu Stacy gets a new hat. Halo: New Hat is due out sometime in the next year, will likely set some sales records, but will move the industry forward as much as a tractor on cinder blocks.

After the presentation, I called my old college hall mate who now works for Microsoft up in Seattle. We discussed the possibility of more Halo games coming out, including Halo racers, Master Chief themed pet games, and the potential for the faceless Halo protagonist becoming like Sonic, a bloated whore who has sold every ounce of dignity to produce increasingly irrelevant games. And we both realized we'd get paid handsomely for creating and covering these games. Maybe the industry doesn't need fixing.

Exactly. Halo is a franchise that keeps pumping out game after game after game, even though there are only 3 Halo games out on the 360 and a 4th is coming. I bet it can't catch up to the number that Super Mario Bros can get.

But something else bothered me. Goldeneye. What did Macworld have to say?

The saddest bunny that Nintendo pulled out of its hat was the trailer for a new Goldeneye 007 game. The reveal was met not by wowed enthusiasm, but instead with the sound of thousands of hands slapping a thousand foreheads. Electronic Arts tried to reboot/cash-in the Goldeneye franchise years ago with Goldeneye: Rogue Agent. Rogue Agent was a horrid mess of a game with a great premise; this new Goldeneye title looks like a horrid mess of a game with a bad premise. Nintendo is essentially trying to remaster a masterpiece while updating it with things like Daniel Craig's face.

There is no way the game can live up to the iconic Nintendo 64 first person shooter, and without the original developers from Rare, this new Goldeneye will be as well received as Blue Brothers 2000 or New Coke.

Of course Nintendo is gonna fail on their new Goldeneye. It's not like Activision is in charge of it and that Eurocom, who is working on this game, has hired former developers of the original Goldeneye. And how dare you compared this to Blues Brothers 2000 and the New Coke. Real men compare it to the Apple Pippin system that was a watered down Mac.

But finally, MacWorld looked at Nintendo's 3DS, and suffice to say, they're still stroking their iPhones

The Nintendo 3DS will sell like gangbusters but it still doesn't signal that Nintendo has any understanding of how the mobile market is changing. Sure, the 3DS has 3D graphics without glasses--but also without a sense of perspective. That is to say, Apple is eating their market and Nintendo's Reggie Fils-Aime is sitting in the white Buick with the devil as they go over the cliff, laughing, a la Thelma and Louise.

Of course it will sell like gangbusters but continue to suck. We've been saying about that for the Wii for years and yet it still continues to trounce the 360 and PS3 month after month. But what did they have to say about Sony?

Sony at least knows that the casual gaming market is gone to them. Apple's SDK can't be beaten by conventional platforms or conventional weapons, so at Sony's presentation, Sony reps took time to mew that their PSP platform is for "serious gamers." Which would explain the declining sales.

Exactly. Only serious gamers buy a PSP and/or a DS. Real gamers prefer to buy fart apps and other junk on their iPhone.

But Macworld had the final say of this.

The three big console developers, previously unchallenged in their supremacy, have become complacent swine, out of touch with the modern gamer. They keep making games that they already made because they know they will sell, not because they will be challenging, creative, or fun. How many times has Zelda been remade? Do we really need yet another Mortal Kombat, Twisted Metal, or Halo game? The snake is eating its own tail.

I don't have a problem with reboots per say, so long as we also have new franchises, new titles, and new genres to explore. And that what was lacking at E3 this year. While the big boys were wrestling over who had the better motion controls and who could find the most obscure old game they could remake, quietly you began to wonder how long the industry could keep this up. Hiring models to promote your game and giving away free Xbox 360s to journalists is only going to keep the barbarians at bay for so long

Of course they don't know what modern gamers want. Hell, modern gamers don't know what modern gamers want. And the reason why we barely get new IPs, new Genres, new flim-flam, new yadda yadda yadda, is because we buy what we like. We shouldn't buy what we like. We should buy what Macworld says and support a 4th Swine. After all, everyone knows that the iPhone is better than the Wii, 360, PS3, PSP, DS and PC simply because you can play Katamari Damacy while struggling to get the controls down. Who needs proper controls when you can struggle just to get them down?

Works Cited: PC World